Mastodawn

As you all know, today is #NationalLoveATreeDay. Finally. You're allowed to fuck that tree you've been fantasising about. Only joking. Please don't have sex with the trees. Trees are amazing. Trees are our friends. Get out amongst them and be grateful for their majesty. If all of the politicians in the world were to suddenly turn into gloop and wash away into the ocean, life would only improve (and we'd likely finally look at ways to improve the water quality). But if the trees all built rockets and left our world, a) this would be incredible. How do they have the technological advancement? How do their scientists have the dexterity to create such things? We clearly don't understand their physical biology. This changes everything. But also.... 2) we would be very much worse off because of it. They are not only a vital part of our ecosystem, but they are our spiritual guardians or whatever. BE NICE TO TREES YOU MONSTERS.

https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/national-love-a-tree-day/

National Love a Tree Day | Days Of The Year

Discover National Love a Tree Day, celebrating the beauty and benefits of trees while inspiring planting, conservation, and deeper connections with nature.

Days Of The Year

@TheBreadmonkey The tree in the photo could give you a handjob though, if it were inclined.

SabreToothTigress ZenD May 16

@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey tree inclinations are botanicneuroengeenering science//Listen to Fad Gadgets songs

@TheBreadmonkey imagine if people found out there was one tree in the woods with human arms that was doling out handies. Everyone would be queuing up for a tree rubbing.

for a day, while . . . 🗽May 16

if I have my phone I don't mind standing in line . . .

BashStKid May 16

@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey The trees have been dumping pollen all over you, payback time?

Ben. No, not that one.May 16

@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey Bow job.

Benna Radacanu May 16

@BenCotterill @Nickiquote

This is very good and I am trying very very hard not to respond with bough so I'm glad I didn't

Ben. No, not that one.May 16

@TheBreadmonkey @Nickiquote That’s how you spell it… idiot brain didn’t know.

Benna Radacanu May 16

@BenCotterill @Nickiquote

Your brain is magnificent

@TheBreadmonkey @BenCotterill Very much the English language which is the idiot in this situation.

Ben. No, not that one.May 16

@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey I’m going to English gaol.

@TheBreadmonkey Or, if not inclined, you could use a stepladder.

Supermoosie May 16

@TheBreadmonkey

For your own safety, we recommend checking all holes carefully for critters, be before inserting any parts of your body into them.

Benna Radacanu May 16

Evergreen advice

Verđandi K Soldusty May 16

@TheBreadmonkey
Trees = Good
Politicians = Bad

This has been my instinct too for a very long time. Can't quite put my finger on why though 🤔.

EDIT: Fixed my, "I'm still asleep, honest!" typos 😅.

Conny Nasch May 16

@TheBreadmonkey trees are essential in cooling the atmosphere as well. The Amazon is almost at the tipping point due to its destruction though, soon it might just begin to warm it through methane production. 😢

David Cohen May 16

@TheBreadmonkey All very well saying don’t have sex with trees, but they literally give you wood.

Cliff'sEsportCorner May 16

@davidbcohen @[email protected] And the trees seem to think differently, considering they spread their pollen everywhere

David Cohen May 16

@CliffsEsport Beechkakke

Moss the Bard 🇨🇦🇧🇧🇲🇽🇬🇱May 16

@TheBreadmonkey
Talk to my sinuses. We've been fucking for weeks.