Cactuar JoeGod I hope this movie is dumb as fuck. I need this movie to be dumb as fuck. #Monsterdon
"...A region almost as salty as the internet." #Monsterdon
The ~wild ♪ rock formations~ ♫ 👉 👉 #Monsterdon
...Wearing *intensely* stupid hats. #Monsterdon
MAAAAAAVRIIIIICK #Monsterdon
They're always hitting the silk, but have they ever considered just sitting down with the silk and talking though their problems? #Monsterdon
"Come in."
Sorry, can't respond, too busy investigating the hot dog legs on the poster behind me. #Monsterdon
*touches the surface of the water* Clams. Two, three days old. #Monsterdon
Johnson's chowder, chief. #Monsterdon
Aah. Aaaah. Aaaaaah. #Monsterdon
Okay, is it cutterboy, butterboy, or flutterboy? #Monsterdon
"Now wait a minute! I need to display to the audience what a hardass I am!" #Monsterdon
"Yes mom, that's right. Uh huh. Yeah, I'll be screaming alone in a dark room while dramatically lit. Mm hmm. Yeah, third act. Yes, they COULD hire more women, mom, but it's the fifties." #Monsterdon
This is a movie that feels like it should have Raymond Burr in it, y'know? #Monsterdon
Salton sea spooge :/ #Monsterdon
"It's Hollister."
No, Hollister was less wrinkly than that. #Monsterdon
Not A substance, THE Substanceâ„¢. #Monsterdon
Traditional monster movie line detected! "[X thing] does strange things to the human body..." #Monsterdon
Yeah you can't see Grace today, she's having her eyes propped open to test oven cleaner >:( #Monsterdon
"He's cute"
If you like hardasses, I guess. #Monsterdon
Yeah, thanks for the lung cancer Commander. #Monsterdon
"Take a look at the microscope."
Yes, it's a lovely model. Now look INTO it. #Monsterdon
WE'VE GOT TO CLOSE THE B- oh htey actually are closing the beaches huh #Monsterdon
"Phone, doctor"
Now!? But I'm working on the new Ovaltine formula! #Monsterdon
"Jodie? I've just learned you're about to be killed. It's part of the horror movie morality."
"You get home early."
No, Mom, I'm gonna FUCK ALL NIGHT LONG. #Monsterdon
...The guy's name is Mort. Now THAT'S a little on the nose. You wanna start the countdown to his death or should I? #Monsterdon
The giant clams are gonna run into the She-Creature coming the other direction. #Monsterdon
"I'll tell you what happened! She's trapped in a horror movie where cultural norms around misogyny are reiterated!" #Monsterdon
OH GOD, JODIE TURNED INTO A PILE OF SEAWEED! #Monsterdon
Well, at least they found their missing se(a)men. #Monsterdon
Oh great, just what every movie needs. Diving scenes. 9_9 #Monsterdon
"Try a reading! Open your books to page 47!" #Monsterdon
"what's the bottom like?"
That's rather a personal question, commander. #Monsterdon
🤖Robot Enby Xero🤖@CactuarJoe "I'm actually a switch, captain"
My god it's a plastic bag
oh hey it's the Prisoner
CREATURE SPOTTED
weird lookin' mothra
"MY GOD BLAKE WENT CLAYMATION"
welp movie's over good ni- oh, nevermind
"Where's George?!" "He's chum, Jim"