Something I just realised, while I see different posts saying people wish they could go back to (insert time in their childhood) I really never feel that.

There are different aethetics and fashions that I enjoy seeing again, or maybe being able to re-experience the early days of being online but overall childhood was not a carefree, fun time for me - it was filled with anxiety, bullying, and different types of traumatic experiences. It's not something I look back on and think of as being carefree and fun.

I wonder if that's the same for other neurodivergent individuals or just in general?

Also wondering how long I'm going to grieve this now that I realise it.