Mastodawn

Girlfriend's mom: Oh, Alice, while you're here, I have this lockbox that I don't have a key for.

Me: Grab it!

Girlfriend's mom: It's not really urg—

Me: —It's open.

Girlfriend's mom: Wow.

Girlfriend's mom: ...darn, it's not full of cash.

For some people there's a difference between a lockbox and a storage container, and then there's @alice

@hypostase The way I see it, the difference between a lockbox and a storage container *is* @alice.