@MedeaVanamonde @Shivviness @TwoClownsEating @Nickiquote

*slaps behind of bear*
"this bad boy can fit so much heroin in it"

@ColesStreetPothole @MedeaVanamonde @Shivviness @TwoClownsEating @Nickiquote

Baloo from The Jungle Book is a sloth bear (Melursus ursinus), a species native to the Indian subcontinent. While often depicted as a lovable, lazy, and greyish-brown bear in Disney adaptations, he is based on a real, typically black-furred, and highly defensive, insect-eating species.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baloo

there is no specific data mentioning the volume of a sloth bear's colon.

if there is anyone who has access to a dead sloth bear could they see what volume of water it holds.

but as a guess:

“Normal morphology of the digestive system in brown bear (Ursus arctos)”

The colon has a length of approximately 1.2-1.5 m

https://iuls.ro/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/02-17_Munteanu_Alexandru_en.pdf

Brown bears generally weigh between 80 and 600 kg

Adult sloth bears typically weigh between 55 and 145 kg

145 ÷ 600 ~ 25%

baloo’s colon is 150/4 cm long

~40cm

human colon 8 cm in diameter

A sloth bear is 145 ÷ 70 ~ 2x the weight of a human

baloo’s colon is 8*2 cm wide

~16cm

The human colon can expand to over 12 cm

= stretch 1.5x

16*1.5=24cm

24*40=960cm3

Cocaine density varies depending on its form and compaction, but solid, compressed cocaine (such as in a 1 kg brick) has a high density, often exceeding 0.9gm/cm3

baloo could stuff 1kg of compressed blow up his bum.

Direct from producers in countries like Colombia or Bolivia, a pure kilogram typically costs between $4,000 and $6,000.

@glasspusher

@Nickiquote @glasspusher @amiserabilist @ColesStreetPothole @Shivviness @TwoClownsEating @MedeaVanamonde
So my emotional support grizzly bear could mule 4kg of coke for me on our next flight?

@Gorfram @glasspusher @amiserabilist @ColesStreetPothole @Shivviness @TwoClownsEating @MedeaVanamonde

- Wait, the drug dogs are barking.

- Of course they are, it’s a fucking grizzly.

@Gorfram

One thing I like about Mastodon is you can click on a post from someone you follow and end up going down a, shall we say, unique and curious rabbit hole. 😁

@Jason844 @Gorfram Rabbit holes could only handle a few raisin-sized grams of coke, though.

@Gorfram

Grizzly bears and brown bears are the same species (Ursus arctos), but "grizzly" typically refers to smaller, inland subspecies (U. a. horribilis) in North America, while "brown bear" refers to larger, coastal populations with access to salmon. Coastal bears can be over twice the size of interior grizzlies.

https://www.nathab.com/blog/alaska-story-grizzly-bears-and-brown-bears

i used to love gentle ben.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentle_Ben

4 kg is stretching ben's colon to the limit, he will feel like he is bursting for the loo.

he will be more comfortable with 3kg.

https://beige.party/@amiserabilist/116102125835007562

enjoy your easter trip evelyn.

@amiserabilist
Hunh. I had always thought “grizzly bear” & “brown bear” were interchangeable terms.
I guess Genteel Bennie & I will only bring 2-1/2 kg of cocaine. There’s no point in ruining things by trying to get greedy; & that much should do us for the weekend anyway.

@Gorfram

A gram can be approximated to 10 lines.

1000*10*2.5=25,000 lines of coke

12K each

assuming you don't sleep (probable)

12000/48= 250 lines/hr

or 4 lines a minute.

>1 g = potentially lethal

https://litfl.com/cocaine-toxicity-ccc/

Cocaine has a short elimination half-life of approximately 1 hour

i personally would not do more than 8 lines/hr

“There she goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”

@glasspusher

@amiserabilist @glasspusher
It’s not like I’d be hogging it all. It’d be rude (& inadvisable) not to share with the bear.

@Gorfram @glasspusher

i already split it 50/50 here:

if we do it by body weight, then assuming you are 50 kg and ben is 200kg it should be 25/75.

but you could make it a party.

a #mastodonMeetUp

@DamonHD

@glasspusher @DamonHD @amiserabilist
#MastodonMeetUp ?
Just all of us & our emotional support brown/Grizzly/Kodiak/Grolar/Pizzly bears?
Let’s gooooo! 🥳🐻🥳🐻‍❄️🥳

@Gorfram @glasspusher @DamonHD

i don't have a bear.

the best i can do is this sweetie:

will she get eaten?

@DamonHD @amiserabilist @glasspusher
Nah, but that bear I saw on Kodiak might steal her bed. 😜

(That is a very sweet sweetie. She doesn’t even need all that powdered sugar.)

@Gorfram

she is a pest, chews everything and is a manic pixie.

luckily she is not my responsibility.

i love her in small doses.

https://beige.party/@amiserabilist/115735556361416429

@DamonHD @glasspusher

@Gorfram @glasspusher @amiserabilist Umm, I'm pretty sure TfL won't let me take an electrified and uncomfortable bear with me on the Tube given that electrified scooters - less likely to rip you asunder if something leaks in the ass under - are considered too dangerous.

My lawyers have asked me to note when my name was invoked in this convo, and point out that I am not somehow into bears and drugs in that way...

@Gorfram @amiserabilist

Go kodiak or go home.

I mean, if we're GONNA do this...

@BenHM3 @Gorfram

The Kodiak bear (Ursus arctos middendorffi), also known as the Kodiak brown bear and sometimes the Alaskan brown bear, inhabits the islands of the Kodiak Archipelago in southwest Alaska.[3] It is one of the largest recognized subspecies or population of the brown bear, and one of the two largest bears alive today, the other being the polar bear.[4][5] Kodiak bears are also considered by some to be a population of grizzly bears.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodiak_bear

oh this is all so confusing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m_12SGXNKw

@amiserabilist @BenHM3
I have seen a Kodiak bear in person ( in bear-son?), sort of.
The bear was engaged in playing on & tearing apart a sofa at the Kodiak town dump; and the most striking thing was that it looked like a St. Bernard jumping around on a doggie bed sized for a bull terrier.
I viewed this through high-powered binoculars, from about a mile away across a deep valley; and it felt like that was *Much Too Close*.

@Gorfram @BenHM3

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1byn1l/i_was_mauled_by_a_bear_fought_it_off_and_drove_4/

i am a scaredy cat.

‘Would you rather be trapped in the woods with a man or a bear’

In Yellowstone there was a shop that was selling bear bells and pepper spray. It had a sign next to them explaining how to tell the difference between a black bear and a brown bear by their scat.

If the scat is smaller and contains wild Berries and fruit, it's a black bear.

If the scat contains bear bells and smells like pepper spray, it's a brown bear.

@amiserabilist @BenHM3
If the bear is…
…black, fight back
… brown, lie down (& play dead)
… white, good night! (that dark one, that you’re not about to go at all gently into)