Why would god use dumbasses as the standard unit of philosophy?

It’s measuring speed, speed of light is 1 dumbass.

Which proves God is American (anything except metric)

I learned recently that it was the Babylonians who invented the hour and the minute as a unit of time, and they used base 60, which I thought was pretty neat.

IIRC, they picked 60 because it could be evenly divided into 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/5, and 1/6 which allowed them to stick to whole numbers more easily.