Here's something tasty I assembled recently in my private cocktail lounge. I call it the Puyang Ass Nuker.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 3 apples. Add 2 measures of lighter fluid, 3 measures of single-malt Scotch whisky and 3 measures of Irish whiskey. Top up with root beer. Shake frantically for 17 minutes, then strain into a mug. Vives!

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.