There is this missconception (for me at least) that a joke must be accepted by all stakeholders.

I think it can be funny to some and offensive to others. Still a joke.

There are some lines I personally don’t cross but mostly i don’t take any prisoners.

If my favorite comedians haven’t attacked me personally at some point, they aren’t doing their jobs.
I think a joke can have a victim, like if it’s punching down at people who are already in a position where they can’t push back. Punching up is great. But it stops being funny when it targets people who are already struggling to make it. Comes off as mean, jot funny.
You are eight on your description what would be decent. The end of Our comment is based on the view of a specific observer, whoa opinion I might not share (depending on the joke). So to me it is still a joke even if I am not laughing but the intention of the joker was clear.
I don’t think that’s a common misconception. Many will say the joke isn’t funny if it offends them, and many will say something fails to be a joke if it’s not structured as one, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone claim it ceased to be a joke because it was offensive.
I feel like that is the default answer when people are offended.