RE: https://tane.codes/@tanepiper/116329150138343595

Yes it's April 1st but also the Bond franchise is so overdue for a ripped lesbian bodybuilder built along the lines of Grace Jones circa 1984 (who could totally rock a tux).

Jones is alas too old for the role these days but in her hey day she made a fine Bond Villain.

@cstross it would, i admit, to be a bit silly to cast james bond as a girl. but casting 007 as a girl? or having a series of movies staring 003, even? what's the fuss?
@fishidwardrobe @cstross agreed! 007 could totallly be a woman.
I'd love that and I'm convinced it would 100% work with the archetype.
@mavu @fishidwardrobe But bear in mind that 007 is pretty much a photographic negative of the personality profile the security services look for in an officer, i.e. their recruiting criteria can be summed up as "would Bond do that? If so, FAIL."

@cstross @fishidwardrobe Bond doesn't need to be based in reality more than maybe 10%. In fact, the losely scifi nature of his opponents and gadgets were what drew me to the movies when i was a kid.
Bond needs to be:
- larger than life
- smarter than life
- sexier than life
- luckier than life
- have cool tech
- fight the evil mastermind
- save world
- be more british than life.

None of those things require a penis.

@mavu @fishidwardrobe You're talking about the movies, which are a debased parody of the original 1950s novels.
@cstross @mavu now THAT's a thought. why not have the Bond from the first two books? working class civil servant who's learned to fake the graces and act posh for the job. cynical, fallible, sometimes uncertain or desperate but not a psychopath like the movie bond.

@fishidwardrobe

More like David Callan or Harry Palmer, then.

@cstross @mavu
#UKTelly #UKMovies

@JdeBP @cstross @mavu works for me. but i'm betting there are more ways to do it that haven't been tried yet, too.