Charlie Stross2d ago

RE: https://tane.codes/@tanepiper/116329150138343595

Yes it's April 1st but also the Bond franchise is so overdue for a ripped lesbian bodybuilder built along the lines of Grace Jones circa 1984 (who could totally rock a tux).

Jones is alas too old for the role these days but in her hey day she made a fine Bond Villain.

Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂2d ago
@cstross it would, i admit, to be a bit silly to cast james bond as a girl. but casting 007 as a girl? or having a series of movies staring 003, even? what's the fuss?
Show threadAlien software, human hardware2d ago
@fishidwardrobe @cstross agreed! 007 could totallly be a woman.
I'd love that and I'm convinced it would 100% work with the archetype.
Show threadCharlie Stross2d ago
@mavu @fishidwardrobe But bear in mind that 007 is pretty much a photographic negative of the personality profile the security services look for in an officer, i.e. their recruiting criteria can be summed up as "would Bond do that? If so, FAIL."
Show threadAlien software, human hardware

@cstross @fishidwardrobe Bond doesn't need to be based in reality more than maybe 10%. In fact, the losely scifi nature of his opponents and gadgets were what drew me to the movies when i was a kid.
Bond needs to be:
- larger than life
- smarter than life
- sexier than life
- luckier than life
- have cool tech
- fight the evil mastermind
- save world
- be more british than life.

None of those things require a penis.

Apr 1 at 3:13pmMastodon for Android
Show threadCharlie Stross2d ago
@mavu @fishidwardrobe You're talking about the movies, which are a debased parody of the original 1950s novels.
Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂2d ago
@cstross @mavu now THAT's a thought. why not have the Bond from the first two books? working class civil servant who's learned to fake the graces and act posh for the job. cynical, fallible, sometimes uncertain or desperate but not a psychopath like the movie bond.
Show threadCharlie Stross2d ago
@fishidwardrobe @mavu Erm … later book Bond *was* at least a sociopath: at one point we have M musing that 00 agents have a life expectancy on the job of less than two years before alcohol or the adversary get them—they're essentially state executioners, not spies (per popular mythos).
Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂2d ago

@cstross @mavu oh yes, after he wrote Goldfinger, Fleming was writing with the movies in mind, i think. i feel the character of bond changed from then on.

but i'm aware you know *much* more about Bond than i do…

Show threadJdeBP2d ago

@fishidwardrobe

More like David Callan or Harry Palmer, then.

@cstross @mavu
#UKTelly #UKMovies

Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂2d ago
@JdeBP @cstross @mavu works for me. but i'm betting there are more ways to do it that haven't been tried yet, too.
Show threadAlien software, human hardware2d ago

@cstross @fishidwardrobe well, talking about bond sometime in the last 40 years without further specification means movie-bond for most people.
But i realize that even that is probably not enough, because there are distinct eras, and the most recent batch of vulnerable-bond/origin story is missing the mark (for my taste)

I'd welcome the older bonds up to 2000s or so. More superhero-comic than gritty drama.
More lighthearted.

Show threadKat S2d ago

@mavu @cstross @fishidwardrobe I feel the same.
Actually, I was just musing yesterday that the reboot was akin to the shift in Batman from Burton to Nolan, except they didn't go hard enough on the Nolan end. Lost me at Casino Royale - it was a perfectly good action/spy movie, but not the cartoonish super-hero stuff I grew up on.

Put a ripped lesbian in that role, though, and I'll definitely take another look.
...did I mention I'm a shallow tart? :)

Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂2d ago

@KatS @mavu @cstross meh. bond did that for years. then die hard went there, xxx, kingsman, etc etc. and now we have actual superhero movies.

i'd prefer something a bit more down to earth.