A tiki tramp gave me this cocktail recipe on the streets of Hawaii. He said it was called the Smithfield Sanity Journey.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 4 onions. Add 3 measures of mezcal. Top up with the sweat of Melania Trump. Shake frantically for 18 minutes, then strain into a dog bowl. Santé!

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.