「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院 凶真 Hououin Kyouma)Do you feel distressed and like have an identity crisis when you have moments of your life that you can't remember? (especially childhood)
FRYDI suffered a serious head injury and have amnesia. I don’t remember the vast majority of my childhood and what I do is just bits and pieces. By the time I had fully recovered from the injury, I was totally used to just not remembering things. In hindsight and therapy, there are a few things about my memory loss that bother me.
Overall though I’ve just accepted that remembering just isn’t all that important. You are who you are today. Memories may explain why you are the way you are or they might not. I just try to live the present and work towards the future. It’s freeing to live without the grudges, spite, or resentment of the past.
akmurI don’t remember any trauma happening but I’m just like you… bad memory all around. very little memories of childhood and teenage, or really in general
one thing I found out is I have aphantasia so I wonder if you’ve got that too
No, I’d say I’m actually a pretty bubbly and cheerful person most of the time. For a while I did feel pretty empty and blank, I would describe the feeling as “sterile”. Just kinda absent of stimulus and variety of emotion. I’ve gone through a long and difficult arc of figuring myself out though. Two years ago I had a breakthrough and have been getting happier as time goes on.
oh duh, I though it was the no happiness thing lol. Yeah, I’m almost incapable of forming mental images. I can kinda build an image by adding details, but they fade quickly. So I have to essentially keep re-adding details rapidly to sustain the image. So the images are imprecise and constantly changing. It’s kinda like looking at a kinda rough sketchy animation. It takes a lot of concentration to do too, so most of the time I have no images in my head.