When looking at the "if you enjoyed this movie, you might enjoy these" section, one of the Final Destination movies was on there.
I've only ever seen the first one, (long enough ago that I actually saw it on tv), but am I right in assuming that the deaths get progressively more silly and convoluted as the series goes on?
I have a lot of time in bed to kill and don't have anything better to watch that I can think of (because brain is soup)...
Well that was about as ridiculous as I remembered, on to number 2 which I haven't seen before!
And we're starting with establishing that it's the same movie universe as the first one, good idea.
Aaand here's the horrible accident that makes people not want to drive behind log trucks, check.
Now on to the disbelief and suspicion while people drop like flies!
I like the foreshadowing of the magnetic letters spelling out EYE. You know it's coming, but you don't know how. Nice.
Death sure is a big fan of OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
Oh hey, the single survivor from 1 is in a padded cell. Without a toilet. I have questions.
I also don't think a padded cell would be safe. Could choke on padding, strangled by the thread, choke on your own vomit...
I do not like what this man is implying.
Either the unborn child of the pregnant lady needs to be born or the survivors need to get to fucking. 😬
Drug addict not wanting to break his mama's heart, how sweet.
Wow, two quick deaths in a row!
And then another two!
So much happened in so little time and I got distracted and suddenly it's over. Disappointed that the OG final girl didn't make it, but at least new final girl made it to the credits.
Not sleepy yet, bring on more ridiculous deaths!
A rollercoaster this time, huh? They're really hamming up the spooky carnival angle for this intro. And why is every single painting ominous? If someone dies by swallowing a sword I'm calling bullshit.
Oh god the 2000's thongs sticking up out of their pants. I think that was what finally made me decide that fashion is fucking stupid and I want no part in it.
OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
At least one of these bimbos is getting burned alive in a tanning bed. And I will laugh about it.
Hello titties.
Goodbye titties.
Frankie is such a cunt and I hope his death involves genital trauma.
MORE OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
Disappointing lack of genital trauma!
But at least he's dead.
"I was gonna ask her to marry me" - cishet man with zero idea that his relationship was terrible and she was about to break up with him.
Okay, that workout death was funny.
For the love of fuck goth guy get with the program and believe them already.
No not like that! 
*cackles*
Bye bye goth guy.
Aaaw, I kinda liked the ending before the fakeout! Kill them all I say!
Still not sleepy and also hungry. Time for Final Destination 4 while also heating up frozen things in the oven (and shoving them in my face).
Also why is the fourth movie named The Final Destination?! Is it a soft reboot so they can reuse deaths? Were they too worried nobody would go see something with a 4 in the title? Were the executives just fuckwits?
Either way I have opinions. The next one is just Final Destination 5 before they ditch the number again for the sixth one?
BE CONSISTENT.
Is this legally distinct nascar?
"You're sick, Hunt"
Lol she said cunt. Yes I'm mentally 12.
Ok I'm a fan of this opening. Going through all the horrible ways people died in the previous movies via xrays looks fucking sweet. Music is good too.
Why does every survivor group have an unstable violent man in it? Have white men considered going to fucking therapy?
Getting himself killed while doing klan shit is some fucking well deserved karma though.
Someone on the production team has a foot fetish, they focused on that pedicure for waaay too long.
Of course Cunt plays golf. 🙄
And is a terrible lay.
AND bullies children?
Yeah, there is absolutely zero chance of him surviving, and good riddance.
That man just got his intestines sucked out through his anus. I do not want to see an xray of that for the end credits thanks.
OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
"It's over!"
*checks runtime* 
Are all american buildings built like shit or are movies exaggerating? Because no fucking way that hospital would be up to code here in Sweden.
And this construction site? Why in the everloving fuck is there that much flammable fuel UPSTAIRS in a fucking MALL?! Ridiculous.
That was a solid ending though. Good reuse of the intro xrays. 
Back on my horror binge bullshit, it's time for Final Destination 5!
Will the token black character actually survive this one? My guess is no. 
So far I dislike everyone except the "slut" and the black guy, so we're off to a great start!
This disaster is GRUESOME, I love it.
I can't wait for the unpleasant "ladies man" guy to die.
Oh hell yeah, Tony Todd is back and he's being ominous.
These people have never heard of long distance relationships?
Oh, I think I've seen a clip of this first death. This is going to be unpleasant. 😬
Fucking hell, creepy guy is being creepy!
Luckily he's next up to die.
Aaand he's being racist as well.
Yeees, give him the rough massage, old woman! Make him suffer for his own good, before he accidentally dies from a falling stone buddha statue or some shit.
OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
I am enjoying the amount of suffering this creep is going through.
HA, I WAS RIGHT! FALLING BUDDHA!
They're changing the rules? Or is Tony Todd being a liar to up the death count? 🤔
Oh no, lasik. Eye trauma death incoming. 
Gross gross gross gross gross!
A federal agent NOT being an obtuse motherfucker? I predict that he's gonna die, and it's gonna be Peter killing him trying to save his own ass.
Oh hey, black guy kinda accidentally killed someone! I wonder if he's safe now. Only time and shitty writing will tell!
The boss got a death as uninteresting as his character was. Fitting.
Main character only now realising that a kitchen is very dangerous.
That dessert better not have a fucking ring in it, dude. Now is NOT the time!
OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
As expected, Peter is having murderous thoughts.
Aaand there it is. He really is setting himself up to die though.
Fucking called it. Farewell, reasonable federal agent. o7
Motherfuckers did a fucking secret prequel?!
Bullshit. 
Well, at least the black guy died last.
The ending AC/DC track with deaths from previous movies is a nice touch. Going full circle and all that.
There is still one movie to go, can't wait to see how they tie that one into all this nonsense.
Oh dear, is this going to take place in the uhh 60's?
Is this just for the intro or is this an excuse to have racist motherfuckers in the movie? I have concerns. 
The bratty kid dying from the falling piano?
12/10, immensely satisfying.
Oh thank fuck, it's present day, less overt racism.
I was worried that Paco was going to be a spider, but instead he was adorable. 🥰
For a woman so worried about death, there sure are a lot of VERY SHARP THINGS all over her yard.
I like Iris, she sassy. And about to die.
I assume they're gonna die by age so final girl can see the pattern and save her baby brother.
Fakeout 1: ✅
Fakeout 2: ✅
Aaand there it is. 
Rube-Goldberged to death.
Now time for everyone to think she's fucking insane.
Aaw, goth guy is gonna die to an ironic music sting.
Just rip the piercing out at this point dude.
Oooh, infidelity twist! Now goth guy is safe! Unless he sacrifices himself for his baby brother/cousin, which is quite likely.
EYES ON THE ROAD, WOMAN!
Tony! Good to see your ominous ass! Your face looks a lot skinnier and now I'm worried.
Erik you absolute tool.
Trying to cheat death can get very messy indeed. Bye bye Erik. And bye Bobby.
Final girl better fucking take care of Paco!
OMINOUS WINDâ„¢
Let her drown, little bro, then bring her back.
Hell yeah, that's the way!
Though I was expecting final girl to do an Iris and spend the rest of her life locked in a room to keep little bro safe.
And here's the ending twist. Oof.
At least Paco is safe and cared for.
@Gulleko I like when people post movie reviews on here because I imagine taking stuff of what they've said and using it as a pull quote for the movie poster.
If I could sit on my computer I would mock this up.
Final Destination 3: "Disappointing lack of genital trauma."
@retrosponge I agree. 😂
Like, would it kill the filmmakers to have just ONE creep get sawed in half from the dick up?
@Gulleko Yep. It really bugs me a ridiculous amount. "Just kick him in the fucking balls".
I find myself saying that quite a lot.
Gulleko
RebekahWSD
Ambient Sponge