Every once in a while a trans woman asks if it's normal to not remember large swaths of her childhood and the answer is always trauma, trauma, trauma.
"If you don't actually exist as yourself, you probably won't remember it."
@gwynnion *smiles sadly in system*

@witch @gwynnion

looks at new member just added to PluralKit a few minutes ago

Yeah.

weakly smiles back

@gwynnion thatโ€™s silly, I didnโ€™t experience anything traumatic, I justโ€ฆ *goes on to describe something that leaves everyone shocked and wide-eyed, offering hugs* ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…
@JoscelynTransient Their reactions are precious sometimes. LOL.
@gwynnion I still remember the time I casually told my ex about this one memory and she turned to me to ask me if I had ever read about complex PTSD. And then I told my bestie who was diagnosed with PTSD, and they just gigged and said, โ€œJoss, that sounds like trauma to me.โ€ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

@JoscelynTransient Yeah, watching other people react in horror when I tell what I thought were totally normal stories from my childhood... Honestly, it's been pretty healing. It's good to be reminded that, no, that was really fucked up, actually.

@gwynnion

@faithisleaping @JoscelynTransient @gwynnion I told a childhood story to some coworkers a couple of weeks ago that seemed normal to me and was met with like a minute of stony silence and shocked looks before they recovered.

@JoscelynTransient @gwynnion

Haha
My stupid migraine brain hangs all historical points on personal often medical trauma.

Every moment burned into the permanent record.

@gwynnion is that before or after they transition... because there's a lot of gaps back there and ...

#NotAnEgg

@avatastic Both, at least in my case, but I always knew. Even as a child, I spent a lot of time in a dissociative haze because I consciously didn't want to be there, and trying to think about my situation or remember things was like reaching into a bag filled with snakes. After a point, I didn't want to remember. But you can't always help that either.