Mastodawn

Nela Dunato 4d ago

"People find the stigma around #autism to be distasteful so they reject that autistic traits could pertain to them. Autism horrifies them because the unknown is scary and being marginalized is hard.
Those of you who identify with #HSP and deny you have social or communication differences are likely so highly masking (hiding your autistic traits) that you think you can’t be autistic because you are social and have a lot of friends. So was I and so did I."
https://medium.com/@theautlaw/the-highly-sensitive-person-is-autistic-autistic-autistic-bb9267d91b71
#ActuallyAutistic

The Highly Sensitive Person is Autistic Autistic Autistic

The sooner we admit that HSP is masked autism the better.

Medium

Nela Dunato 4d ago

The entire article is behind a paywall, but really, the first few paragraphs are enough to get the point across. This isn't the only source on this topic, lots of #ActuallyAutistic people agree that the "researcher" who coined the term HSP has an entirely wrong view of autism, and the subjects she based her model of HSP on were later diagnosed autistic.

Edit: @frumble found a free mirror of the entire article: https://freedium-mirror.cfd/https://medium.com/@theautlaw/the-highly-sensitive-person-is-autistic-autistic-autistic-bb9267d91b71

The Highly Sensitive Person is Autistic Autistic Autistic | by The Autlaw - Freedium

The sooner we admit that HSP is masked autism the better.

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama 4d ago

@nelchee
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tangent maybe, but what I know about the majority type says they aren’t going to love people with that identity any more than they love Autistics, I mean being highly sensitive is why they don’t like us, it’s not an improvement in your status with them, I wouldn’t think. 💜

@punishmenthurts the #HSP identity is about feeling superior to the normies, the author of this term is approaching it from that lens. (I've read her book.) She describes ASD only in terms of its deficits and stereotypes. Please read how she described autistic people. This is then adopted by therapists, coaches, and people who suspect they're HSP, which results in even more stigma against ASD.

https://web.archive.org/web/20210304155243/https://hsperson.com/how-does-sensitivity-differ-from-autism-aspergers-syndrome-and-the-autistic-spectrum/

#autism #ActuallyAutistic

How Does Sensitivity Differ from Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, and the “Autistic Spectrum” – The Highly Sensitive Person

Elaine answers the question: How does sensitivity differ from autism, Asperger's syndrome, and the autistic spectrum?

Nela Dunato 4d ago

@punishmenthurts there is a hierarchy of perception of "wellness" among people. If neurotypicals see HSPs as annoying and inconvenient, autistic people are generally seen by both as profoundly deficient and a burden to society. Because if someone is functional, empathetic, and socially adapted, neurotypicals will fight the notion that this person might be autistic.

#autism #ActuallyAutistic #hsp

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama 3d ago

@nelchee
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oh, OK, I had a look. 2009, Geez.
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Yeah, I call myself an aspie prick because I did sort of pass and I’ve had to support myself.
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Plus, my whole life has been about arguing with and trying to understand the normal folks, I’ve been focused on the deficits of the majority. Honestly I never heard of Autism most of my life, and as soon as I got the concept I claimed it. I wasn’t hatched or any part of it when they tried to make aspie a separate identity - but that is/was a prick move, so I tend to say the two words together, if “aspies,” or HSPs are trying to be white or something, I’m with you, that’s awful, like they’re neuro-traitors.
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I don’t call myself that for feeling superior to other Autistics, I don’t feel that way, but I can sure be an arrogant one talking about the majority sorts, because what I want to talk about they cannot seem to see at all.
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In person, I mask, I get along. But ideologically, as regards the modern majority sorts, I’m a bit of a prick. I’m just so frustrated and they burned me so badly, both families. Anyone with my experience would judge them. I tried talking to them for sixty years, it’s not a snap judgment. Now I’m afraid I think of talking to normals like talking to cats.
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I’ve had far better communication here, surely with Autistics who don’t pass. 💜
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@autistics #ActuallyAutistic

Energetic Nova 3d ago

@punishmenthurts @nelchee @autistics

Yeah I dont like the catchall as you know. I think different labels would be beneficial when asking for help. I want lots of well defined subcategories. I don’t mind if someone calls themselves HSP or aspie.

Morgan ⚧️3d ago

@Energetic_Nova @punishmenthurts @nelchee @autistics I love the idea of lots of well defined subcategories and how that would assist in asking for help. My only problem with "aspie" is that people are identifying with the Nazi who decided which ones of us deserve the death camps and which deserve the labor camps. I don't think any of us deserve to be put in any sort of camp, and I don't think any of us are more worthy of life than any others, so Asperger's and derivatives are a red flag for me.

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama 3d ago

@raphaelmorgan @Energetic_Nova @nelchee @autistics
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another reason “aspie,” should always be paired with “prick” 😀

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama 3d ago

@raphaelmorgan @Energetic_Nova @nelchee @autistics
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but yeah, sure, these things s/b traits or suites of traits, many Autistics have the HSP thing going on, some have the aspie thing - high IQ + attitude? Is that fair? - going on.
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For the record, I think I got ‘em both - although in hindsight I suppose nobody else thought I was smart enough or mean enough, no-one but me calls me aspie. 💜
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the HSP trait ought to mitigate the arrogance, one hopes

Laberpferd 1d ago

@raphaelmorgan
I am absolutely for subcategories, experiencing quite often that the overall label "neurodivergent" leads to confusion or plain ableism

What i heard quite often when trying to join some circles (espically BDSM) they are saying "we dont take excuses for your issues and behaviour, we DO have neurodivergent people in our group and they can behave well"

@Energetic_Nova @punishmenthurts @nelchee @autistics

Morgan ⚧️1d ago

@Laberpferd @autistics this makes me wonder what behavior they were talking about, because I could support the first part of the quote or call it all ableism depending. I understand that either way, "we have neurodivergent people" is vague and doing the "but you're nothing like my autistic nephew!" thing. But if they're talking about e.g. breaches of consent (the most common discourse I'm seeing in kink circles), I 100% agree that autism, ADHD, or any other neurotype is not an excuse

Laberpferd 17h ago

@raphaelmorgan
complicated, i need a while to really explain it

At least its not about consent (because i an not even allowed to join the first time) but about protecting group vibes

The neurodivergents that they accept have quite different divergencies than my autism, and when i try to explain that i am autist (and that i have to deal at the meta level with some things i really f... cant change) they accuse me of beeing too lazy to introspect or refuse make a (one more) therapy
@autistics

Laberpferd 17h ago

@raphaelmorgan
its for me my top priority that i never intentionally break someones consent, to the point that i freeze in the fear that i might do something wrong (where a NT or the right kind of ND would read minds and do the right thing)

Might even be that my <act of asking for boundaries and to get a feedback before i break personal limits> leads to perceived as a threat to their safety because i "dont get it" without explicitly asking

Morgan ⚧️16h ago

@Laberpferd @autistics oh, oof! That's ableist as hell, and also really bad practice for consent in a kink community. Their top priority should be ensuring everyone consents to the acts they take part in, and asking for/giving explicit boundaries is the *best* way to do that, regardless of neurotype. Suggesting that anyone, even neurotypicals, simply figure it out based on vibes, is opening the door for all sorts of sexual abuse with plausible deniability (don't ask me how I know 😑)

Laberpferd 16h ago

@raphaelmorgan
i experience it in a way, that their way of "vetting" who is allowed to join the group, who is allowed to attend an event, is to make sure that people actually do understand each other without words. Exclude anyyone who cant prove to safely fitin

The very purpose of german BDSM appears like creating a strong curated/moderated environment where specific kinds of vulnerable and traumatized people can open up, and where my autism is almost per definition a threat to them
@autistics

Morgan ⚧️16h ago

@Laberpferd I'm sorry the community operates like that and excludes you. I feel really lucky to be in a kink space where asking for explicit boundaries is welcomed and encouraged, and if someone's weirded out by me they can simply go talk to someone else (I'm still frequently excluded for being poor, but that's a different conversation). I hope at some point in the near future, you can find a more welcoming community where verbal and explicit communication is a priority

Nela Dunato 3d ago

@punishmenthurts @autistics indeed, everything about HSP has been invented and popularized at a time when autism was even more poorly understood than it is now, and the author never bothered to update her knowledge on autism.

HSP falls into the same pop culture bucket as Indigo/Crystal children. We longed for an explanation, and if the shoe fit, we accepted it.

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama 3d ago

@nelchee @autistics
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OTOH, I might like “HSP,” as adressing the point, that normal people could use some
sensitivity.
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My whole deal is they need to stop constantly desensitizing themselves. We have these senses for a reason. 💜

Taran Rampersad 3d ago

@punishmenthurts @nelchee @autistics well said.

The 'normal' of statistics could suffer some more neurodivergence.

Elisabeth M 3d ago

@nelchee @punishmenthurts The backpack anecdote 😂 That is absolutely my parenting style

And if it helps the normies to put some social authority behind it, that type of strategy is also part of the Positive Discipline/ Parenting with Love and Logic universe