Amps
Poll time! You suddenly gain one of five extremely useless superpowers, which one do you pick?
You can turn your head 180 degrees like an owl.
40.4%
Your teeth emit a little sparkle whenever you smile.
10.6%
A musical cue of your choice plays when you enter a room.
25.5%
You can communicate with clams.
17%
You can see the outcome of any fedi poll before clicking (see results)
6.4%
Poll ended at .
Mar 26 at 8:16pmWeb
Show threadβ₯ π—π˜‚π—»π—² | F>F Mar 26
@AppleAmps bro communicating with clams is NOT useless (it would be fun and also what if they have ancient abyssal knowledge bestowed upon them by a sea god?)
Show threadAmpsMar 26
@FawnOverFun
Ok but think about how fun of a party trick the first one would be!
Show threadβ₯ π—π˜‚π—»π—² | F>F 6d ago
@AppleAmps girl i’ve never been to a party
Show threadtian2992Mar 26
@AppleAmps i thought the sparkle would at least keep your teeth clean/healthy but turns out its just aesthetic #useless
Show threadmyrmepropagandistMar 26

@AppleAmps

Do you have any idea how incredible it would be to know what kind of things clams could respond to? You'd have a baseline for how one kind of invertebrate mind works.

Do they have emotional states? Do they think ahead at all? How do they see? (they have these tiny eyes and we only have dim notions of how they integrate the information)

This is frankly? overpowered.

And if I can talk to one mollusc why not another? Such as the octopus and the squid. You *know* they have the tea.

Show threadAmpsMar 26
@futurebird
I was actually worried most people would pick clams because of that same reasoning, kjsjks.

In my mind I was imagining they'd be pretty dull conversation partners. Can't believe I didn't consider mollusc gossip as a possibility.
Show threadulrikkoldMar 26

@AppleAmps Bummer! I didn't get to pick my useless superpower before the poll was over.

I have always wanted my own soundtrack!

Show threadWeird Socks6d ago
@AppleAmps
You mean that I am, in fact, @dantheclamman ??
Show threadDr. Dan Killam6d ago
@ohmu @AppleAmps all of us can commune with clams if we try
Show threadUlrich Best6d ago
@AppleAmps Musical cues, oh my, so many to choose from ... could it be Wagner's Valkyria? Or completely different, the Pointer Sisters' Excited? Now, which one to pick?
Show threadelizabeth wormπŸ”…6d ago
@AppleAmps okay i just saw this but do i get to change the musical cue, or do i have to pick it forever right now
Show threadAmps6d ago
@lizzie
You can change it, yeah.
Show threadelizabeth wormπŸ”…6d ago
@AppleAmps that sounds awesome
Show threadAmps6d ago
@lizzie
It can't just be silence though, if you're going to a funeral or whatever you still have to pick *something*