"Service mode is a learned survival state where an autistic person stays oriented towards being useful, helpful, emotionally available or non-disruptive in order to remain safe & accepted. That often includes constant low level vigilance even in your own home, b/c you're always anticipating interruption, needing to respond or being called on. Instead of fully resting, your nervous system stays on, scanning for demands, needs or cues that someone might need something from you." #ActuallyAutistc

"[Examples are amongst others] avoiding deep focus or rest, because interruption is inevitable. [But] we can't really help our nervous systems to recover, if it nerver gets the signal to be 'off dury'. [We've developed this survival state, b/c we were] treated as being difficult, unless we are useful. [...] This is not generosity, it's hyper vigilance shaped like kindness. [To overcome, we need to learn] how to be valued for [our] presence rather than [our] output." #ActuallyAutistc

@levampyre
This learnt response is one of the hardest to recognise, let alone deal with. For many of us it is so deeply engrained.