this is the most Stephen Colbert FUCK YOU to all the haters and i am here for it
❝ Stephen Colbert to write new Lord of the Rings film after end of the Late Show | Movies | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2026/mar/25/stephen-colbert-new-lord-of-the-rings-film
a FEW liberties! that's euphemistic. he actually made the movies more racist than the text, that was almost impressive! I think it's more accurate to say that he made an action movie where the characters happened to have the same names (but not the same personalities) as the original LOTR characters.
it would be a stupid use of my limited time on Earth, perhaps, but I have considered devoting long-term energy to (rhetorically) kicking Peter Jackson in the face over and over for daring to screw with Tolkien, and almost certainly with nefarious commercial reasons in mind. Plainly he was scheming to get himself made into a movie mogul, an elite-class producer, and he got what he wanted...and basically everything he produces is trash. I'd love to know what demon he cut a deal with, to be given such enormous latitude to trivialize The Lord of the Rings.
@mxchara
I don't know about MORE racist. Tolkien certainly used the word "swarthy" more times than I can be comfortable with. That said, there is always going to be some stuff that echoes in a disturbing way to the real world in a setting where there are actual different RACES, and not just people with different amounts of melanin.
As for the overall events, I don't demand a scene for scene duplication of my books from a movie. I think of it like reading historical events taken from different primary sources. I tend to be satisfied if they get the overall events and characters right. Hollywood being what it is, a pure and 100% faithful interpretation wouldn't have ever made it as far as principal photography. No, I didn't need Orlando fucking Bloom riding a shield like a skateboard, but it would be worth keeping in mind the previous attempts to adapt these stories.
As for blaming Jackson for everything becoming a special effects extravaganza, do you really think we ever get those movies without The Matrix? That was moment I saw the change, when the effects budget of every blockbuster suddenly quadrupled. I know everyone has a soft spot for those movies, but if we're going to lay blame, let's be honest about who deserves it.
Let's hope it will be slightly deeper than "Darrylgorn" 😂
I don't really like the Lord of the Rings, so I've been amusing myself by spreading this news around to every purist I know IRL.
Anyway, I hope it's full of Colbertisms, like a character saying "greetings to all the hobbits, elves, and all the ships at sea" and giving Gandalf the Colbert questionnaire
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