Everytime I get bloodwork done I secretly want them to come back to me all worried and ask questions like “sir, we couldn’t get any results, you don’t seem to have any bio markers for, well, and this will sound silly, it obviously has to be a mistake, well, a … human” *nervous giggle* at which point I unfold my extra arms and stand my full 12 feet height and with a booming voice utter “bring me all the jellybeans. And all the pancakes too.”

Or something like that.