Amber  (aka kemona_halftau)
i really wish folks here would be just a little more direct about others' behaviors

maybe im just excessively sensitive about them, but i dont think subposts do anything productive at all

i really do appreciate feedback on my behavior, and i dont want anyone to need to feel nervous giving it

some things arent obvious to everyone, even if they seem obvious to you

i'd really appreciate a dm or something before getting blocked/remove-followed, otherwise i have no idea what i did wrong (although ive tried dming others before blocking them in the past, and it is quite exhausting)

idk ​​
2:25amWeb
Show threadMaddy 🏳️‍⚧️ - ADHD-powered 9h ago
@kemona_halftau I concur ​​
Show threadSky.Bit  9h ago
@kemona_halftau everyone on Fedi needs to see this
Show threadOllie Branch9h ago
@kemona_halftau I usually subpost as a way of giving critique without name-dropping and potentially sending harassment someone's way. I don't usually block or unfollow the targets of my subposts in the rare case I make a subpost.

The difference between subposting and dm'ing someone with critique is when I subpost I'm wanting to have other commentary to look at (even if my subposts never receive them), and the subject matter isn't something private or too personal in nature that would make subposting a bad move.

Maybe I'm just too paranoid of inciting mob behavior when wanting to add my own comments on someone's ideas or actions in a public capacity.

Of course for interpersonal drama this doesn't apply but I don't see a lot of interpersonal drama this side of the fediverse.
Show threadSym (public node) 9h ago

@kemona_halftau I've been on both sides of this, and while I too would appreciate someone just directly telling me how I fucked up, the last few folks I quietly unfollowed were a case of "I don't actually owe you an explanation for my boundaries."

But subposts and softblocks are passive aggressive as fuck and nightmare fuel for anyone with RSD, and I would love to see it more generally agreed to just not do it.

Show threadLi ~ Crystal System7h ago

@kemona_halftau to me, subposts are a way to express how you felt about something someone said, without the fallout of either
without getting thrown into the fire with everyone piling on at once, because we live in a society;

and .. without it turning into some stupid argument, that makes both of us feel miserable and we get nowhere because if im being honest that is the response 99% of the time when i try explain or call out things tbh ...

i dont often block anyone over them, though i suppose that has happened a few times,

Show threadMisofist7h ago

@kemona_halftau

I make subposts semi-often, so I want to explain myself a bit here.

First of all, I hate passive-aggressive vagueposting where you know / hope that the person it's about sees it. I think this is really nasty and I've seen a lot of friends be hurt by it. So that's never my intention.

1/?

Show threadMisofist7h ago

@kemona_halftau

I subpost sometimes when something gets boosted to my feed. I don't follower the poster, and they don't follow me.

I might not feel like I have the relationship with that user to criticise them. Or I might just feel that nitpicking an aspect of their post isn't a good first way to interact with someone.

I try to keep these subposts fairly broad so that they're applicable to people who might read them, even if a specific post inspired my post.

2/?

Show threadMisofist7h ago

@kemona_halftau

I sometimes also subpost about people who aren't even on Fedi. Although in this case I'm likely to CW it "vaguepost" rather than "subpost".

And for what it's worth, I do try to resolve things with people before blocking them UNLESS it's obvious they are acting in bad faith.

3/3