One of the things I ran into in my transition years was:
"OK, things were messed up for guys but things are REALLY messed up for women. It's not a party of happiness and joy over here, you know. You're in for a bumpy ride."
Or sentiments like this.
It's decades later and I can say this with experience:
Yeah, shit's messed up on both sides of the sex/gender fence but for whatever reason, I'm far more comfortable/skilled at dealing with *this* version of messed up.
By a wide friggin' margin.
@timberwraith I had very few cis women try to tell me being a woman was terrible and I would learn to regret it, and the ones who did say things like that seemed to be miserable people in general.
They seemed annoyed that I wasn't dissuaded from it and particularly when I said I could no sooner stop being a woman than they could.
@gwynnion "It'll be easier to stop being yourself."
Sure. I'll get right on that. 🙄
@gwynnion "...they weren't fully persuaded or convinced that I knew what I was doing."
But I mean, who does in early adulthood? We're all bumping around in the dark.
@gwynnion I hear that. Years of hating myself in childhood allows me to hear that. [sigh]
For me, years later, what comes to mind is:
All of the crap that I've gone through as a woman pales in comparison to the suffering and misery of pretending to be someone I absolutely was not.
@timberwraith I personally prefer non-binary because I like things on both sides of the politically assigned gender. But also hate some things.
It was a fight as a kid to get my mom to let me have transformers and Voltron and model aeroplanes and Lego.
When my bro moved out, he took all the Lego with him (except the few sets I owned hidden in my room). Some of my models were trashed as my parents assumed they were my brothers.
Also, I hate my chest melons but I dont want a hot dog either.
@GreenRoc Parents and their locked-in views of gender/sex stereotypes and toys need to be flushed right down cosmic toilet, across the board. Leave no quarter.
I'm far to the female side of the binary but if you looked at my toy preferences and people's assumptions about that sort of thing, you wouldn't guess that. I have a bunch of Lego sets as an adult. [shrug]
@GreenRoc People have variations of body types that feel natural to them. It runs the gamut.
There are trans women for whom having exterior plumbing feels natural and preferred. For other trans women, it's a plague to their existence.
Just an example of how there aren't a set of "rules" that fit simple classifications. So much of this stuff can be seemingly random for our species.
timberwraith
Nowhere Girl
Green Roc Thoughts