I discovered this cocktail, the Strathaven Liver Jolter, in the papers of my great-grandfather, John Mastodon III.

Take an empty cocktail shaker. Into this pour the juice of 3 potatoes. Add 5 measures of blended Scotch whisky, 5 measures of kirsch and 2 measures of cognac. Top up with piss. Shake alluringly for 9 minutes, then strain into a dog bowl. Chin-chin!

#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.