jcrieckeSo I took the mayor’s “high comfort neighborhood bikeway” from Cherry Creek up into Capitol Hill and and I'm pleased to report, that as I suspected, it's utter trash.
“But John,” you say plaintively, “it has traffic circles! And speed bumps! Truly the highest class facilities one can desire!”
“No,” I say gravely. “I can in fact desire not to be tailed uphill by an SUV at 10mph while pedaling hard as I can.”
Additionally, at certain crossings DOTI has ever so hopefully painted their favorite 20ft long bike lanes that direct you into the rear ends of parked cars. This is AFTER you cross the street by pulling up to the right side of a driver and hoping that they're actually going straight and haven't simply forgotten to use their turn signal :) Low stress, indeed! Perhaps that infrastructure should be ridden as designed by the morons drawing it?
But wait, there's more! Coming back south I crossed 6th Ave using DOTI’s newest excuse for wasting time and money: a yellow flashing beacon. Surprisingly, two lanes of traffic actually stopped for me, so I pulled out into the street and began crossing. GUESS WHAT HAPPENED IN THE THIRD LANE? That's right! An inattentive or ill-trained driver blew past the stopped cars and nearly creamed me at full speed. Thank goodness the person biking behind me was much more cautious, they would've been killed! But what's one or I dunno…ninety-three deaths when weighed against free parking, really? Surely I ask too much.
And the cherry on top was when I reached the bottom of Emerson looking to get back onto the trail. Guess where there's no crossing to get across Speer? And the street I used to reach the Cap Hill Neighborhood Bicyclist DeathTrap is a one way going the wrong direction! So I got to ride on four-lane Speer for a block and swing a tight 180 onto a sidewalk using a totally inadequate diagonal curb ramp. Invigorating!
In sum, fuck DOTI, fuck Amy Ford, and fuck Mike Johnston. I hope they die in Tesla fires. They obviously want ME dead and I think it's only fair to return the sentiment.
"However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results."