SirSamuelMar 23

What is a gender neutral honorific for non-binary folk?

https://lemmy.world/post/44637079

What is a gender neutral honorific for non-binary folk? - Lemmy.World

I was raised to address strangers and those I wish to show social deference to as “Sir” or “Ma’am”. It’s a difficult habit to break, as it is deeply engrained. What is an equivalent gender neutral honorific that is relatively common in English? If I can’t break the habit I’d rather have a substitute word to use instead of an awkward pause in the middle of addressing someone I’d just use Google to ask but I’d rather ask the people directly rather than an AI generated answer based off of Reddit threads

Show threadCerebralHawks
FWIW, Sir is gender neutral in the military — this came up in Star Trek Voyager, anyway. Basically if your senior officer isn’t male, they’re sir until they tell you otherwise.
Mar 23 at 3:27pmWeb
Show threadgivesomefucksMar 23

Not really…

Like, yeah, probably in Star Trek, but that would have been a projected evolution of modern society, not a reflection of current reality.

Everyone would assume “sir” and if it’s over an email no one is getting worked up about it.

But call a female officer “sir” to her face and I don’t think it will go well

Show threadtheherkMar 23
Not sure what military you served in, but the one I served in definitely didn’t call women sir until instructed otherwise. However, “mister” may be correct for all warrant officers.
Show threadcobysevMar 23

I served in the US Air Force. Everyone was “Sir” or “Ma’am” and it was very gender-specific. Even for the few years we allowed transgender folks to serve (before Trump banned them), you referred to them by their preferred transition title.

We don’t have warrant officers in the Air Force, so I can’t speak to their title of address.

Show threadtheherkMar 23
Same, USAF but decades ago. It was actually the USAF protocol office I called to verify the “mister” address for WO. Not because we had them, but because they still have protocol for how to address them, generally army chopper pilots if I recall.
Show threadcobysevMar 23

When I served (2002-2022), we were always told that warrant officers are technically officers, so treat them the same as any officer. So we would’ve addressed them as Sir or Ma’am if we came across them. As well as saluting them if we met them outside.

I don’t recall ever addressing anyone as “Mister” in the service. Heck, I retired a few years ago and now I feel weird when people call me Mr. [Last Name]. I got so used to being called by my rank and last name for 2 decades. Mister just sounds wrong.

Show threadCerebralHawksMar 24

Um, Starfleet… as mentioned (Star Trek Voyager… Star Trek’s Starfleet is inspired by the Navy).

I never served… Mostly due to health reasons

Show threadtheherkMar 24
Oh I misunderstood you. I thought you were using the Star Trek reference as just a supporting claim that militaries follow this practice. But I see now you meant only in that context.
Show threadCerebralHawksMar 24

Yeah, I meant that Star Trek did it, and Star Trek is (supposed to be) based on the Navy, so as one who’s never served, I really only have Star Trek Voyager (which had a female captain) to go by.

With female bosses, I’ve always asked them if they want to be called sir or ma’am. It sounds like a good way to catch hands, but if you ask out of respect and good faith, chances are you’ll be answered in kind.

Show threadbambooMar 23
FWIW, Sir is not gender neutral in Gamestop.
Show threadRhynoplazMar 23
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Show threadGhostalmediaMar 23
GameStop has Wendy’s now?
Show threadfartographerMar 23
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts are loose but your manager “borrowed” the socket set and now your clearance display is on the ground.
Show threadzedgeistMar 24

Wen deez nuts are loose

It means I’m getting old…

Show threadfemtekMar 23
No, I got yelled at when I didn’t see.
Show threadJustAnotherKayMar 23
Sir hasn’t been gender neutral in my military for like 30 years at least
Show threadHikingVetMar 23
Sir is gender neutral in fictional militaries. Every woman holding a commission I ever encountered was ma’am. Didn’t matter the country.
Show threadCerebralHawksMar 24
Yes, Star Trek is fictional.
Show threadDasusMar 24
But the way you’ve formatted yourself first comment is “this thing is a military thing, as can be seen from this fictional military” which doesn’t necessarily imply said thing is fictional even though the military you’ve used as an example is.