- How’s the war going?

- Well we’ve replaced the Supreme Leader who was negotiating with us with a Supreme Leader whose entire family we’ve just killed, we’ve won hearts and minds by killing a LOT of kids, we keep calling our allies cowards and alienating them, we’re publicly shitting our pants over oil prices, and we’ve just threatened to escalate the war which has resulted in our enemy saying they’ll destroy all the oil fields in the Middle East.

- So overall, pretty good? #iranwar