J. R. DePriest    :EA DATA. SF:1d ago

I would like to just ask some questions of cisgender people.

If you are a man, think back to when you were a child:

  • When did you know you were a boy?
  • How did you know you were a boy?
  • How did you know other boys were boys?
  • How did being a boy around other boys make you feel?
  • What if you had constantly been called a girl?
  • What if every time you tried to assert that you were in fact a boy you were told you were wrong, that you were lying, and that you were going to get in trouble if you kept saying that.
  • What if you were forced to wear pink dresses all the time?
  • What if you were given dolls whenever you asked for action figures?
  • What if you were told not to climb trees because that wasn't very ladylike?
  • What if you'd gotten your ears pierced before you could stand up on your own or say a single word?

    • If you are a woman, think back to when you were a child:

  • When did you know you were a girl?
  • How did you know you were a girl?
  • How did you know other girls were girls?
  • How did being a girl around other girls make you feel?
  • What if you had constantly been called a boy?
  • What if every time you tried to assert that you were in fact a girl you were told you were wrong, that you were lying, and that you were going to get in trouble if you kept saying that.
  • What if you weren't allowed to play with the girls because it "wasn't appropriate"?
  • What if you were given action figures whenever you asked for dolls?
  • What if you were told to stop crying because crying was girly and if you didn't stop they would give you something to cry about?
  • What if you were spanked for heading toward the dresses in the clothing section?

    • If you can't answer these questions because you never really thought about it, ask yourself why you never thought about it.

    #Transgender #Cisgender

    Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂1d ago

    @jrdepriest cis male here, although i have an unusual relationship with gender that i'll call "gender-meh".

    1, 2, 3, 4) i was *told*. at five i was an only child and had no notion of there being anything else than "boy". i did not, of course, think about girls. that i only played with other boys was not a decision on my part; it just happened.

    (when the other boys giggled and asked me if i knew the difference between a boy and a girl, i said "long hair". amusing that i was more right than they were.)

    5) i imagine i would have accepted it.

    6) that would have been deeply upsetting — i'm autistic — but i can't imagine it happening.

    7) no idea

    8) i played with both. asked for dolls, sometimes.

    9) pretty certain i would have ignored that.

    10) ooof, that's just *wrong*.

    Show threadJ. R. DePriest    :EA DATA. SF:

    @fishidwardrobe

    Ah, the neurodivergent aspect. Autism, in my case, meant I already didn't understand the rules of "how to be human". When I was told "boys don't do that" in response to some of my behavior, I just added that to the list of things I had to mask, like hitting my head against the wall or biting my own hands. I didn't know there were two distinct things at play—autism and gender dysphoria—until I was in my mid-forties.

    Mar 23 at 12:27amWeb
    Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂21h ago
    @jrdepriest perhaps i shouldn't have answered. i'm not exactly typical. i'm never going to experience, or truly understand, gender dysphoria — or euphoria, for that matter. i would consider myself non-binary if i thought it mattered; it doesn't, at all. (i suppose it might have if i'd been AFAB; i rolled the gender with all the privilige, after all. i'll never know.)