I know we all joke about passing around the same mutual aid $20 bill, but in a polycrisis world, it feels like there's also a parcel of moral support and caring that we pass around between people in different kinds of crisis and hardship, too. Everyone gets their turn to give and receive it (in my circles anyway). The reciprocity is much healthier & more comfortable than feeling like a constantly needy friend.
1/n
However, much like mutual aid, the people in my life who show up to support me the most (or at all) are typically in some kind of serious ongoing or acute hardship or crisis.
In contrast, the people in my life with the lightest loads and the most resources are the least supportive and most extractive. (I've cut most of those people out of my life as a survival choice because I truly can't afford them.)
2/n
Cutting people out of my life who are too extractive, exploitative or otherwise too expensive / work against my survival is truly the most isolating part of my current life.
The physical isolation pales in comparison.
3/n
I don't want to think that people have to go through hardship to develop empathy & compassion for others (or otherwise turn into good people). Hard times clearly don't effect everyone that way, but most of the best people in my life have been through awful things.
How do we make it possible for people to become good, caring people without putting them through hell? Sincere question. I'm always thinking about it.
If anyone has (constructive, non venting) thoughts, I'd love to hear them.
4/n
I am obviously biased, but I think my sons turned out to be very empathetic people and I believe part of that is their early and continual exposure literature that had female main characters along with lots of real life experience with other cultures ( India, Latino, and POC) and lifestyles (LGBTQ+).
Representation matters.
Shaula Evans
Jennifer