Preston von Gabbleduck

I had a US colleague ask me today whether Australians really say "we're not here to fuck spiders", which they'd heard on an Instagram reel but thought was a joke. 😂

The fun thing that came out of it was them realising that "Preston doesn't swear" is actually a work habit I follow, not my natural state.

Mar 19 at 10:55pmWeb
Show threadPreston von Gabbleduck3d ago
Them: "So do you say the F word?"
Me: "Probably 30 times a day."
Them: "So do you say the ... the C word?"
Me: "You betcha."
Them: "But only when you're really mad?"
Me: "Um, no. That's not how the Australian language works."
Show threadsortius 3d ago
@backupbear I was trying to explain this one to the kids. The c word is flexible
Show threadPreston von Gabbleduck3d ago
@sortius I ended up explaining it by comparing it to the almost infinite number of head-nods/wobbles that our Indian colleagues do for deeply subtle variances of agreement/disagreement/etc. And then mentioned a few different ways of saying "mate" to indicate true friendship or mortal enemyship.
Show threadsortius 2d ago
@backupbear yep, mate either starts a drinking session or a punch on
Show threadStephen Collins2d ago

@sortius @backupbear see also champ/champion.

Acceptable used with little kids, otherwise truly an insult.

Show threadsortius 2d ago
@trib @backupbear hehehe, champ is a dangerous one. More so than cunt
Show threadAnchinya2d ago
@sortius @backupbear the F word is punctuation in Australia
Show threadCycling Stu2d ago
@backupbear They have no idea... :)
Show threadKeira (She/Her)2d ago
@backupbear this is my go to, now ancient, meme for explaining it.
Show threadMikee2d ago
@backupbear
En(UK) english - traditional
En(US) English - simplified
En(Au) English - profane
Show threadBob Thomson2d ago
@Thegriffyn @backupbear Nah, not UK :) OH in Glasgow: "Yeah, that cunt's a prick" True story. C word in Glasgow probably influenced by Irish blood I think as they do love a good bandy around of 'coont'
Show threadBob Thomson2d ago
@Thegriffyn @backupbear see also: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/D0xgAgmRHnQ
Why in Glasgow certain words aren’t actually as harsh as they sound

YouTube
Show threadMrAndrewD2d ago
@backupbear Wait till you tell them "they're a good C."
Show threadPreston von Gabbleduck2d ago
@MrAndrewD Oh I explained the notion of using it to refer to your best friend. There was a lot of silence at that one.
Show threadDeanFarrell2d ago
@backupbear That's what many of my fellow Americans don't understand. In your part of the world, the C word is a gender-neutral insult.
Show threadJeffrey Haas2d ago

@backupbear My other half and I semi-regularly watch random Spanish language things (with captioning for me who only speaks a little), mostly South American.

We started Diableros, which is Mexico City Spanish.

Within the first 10 minutes, he saw my confusion when the captions were very much not matching the spoken words. What followed was a half hour explanation of how they regularly took a specific set of 10 curse words and made curse word salad out of it.

You might sympathize.

Show threadGiflian3d ago
@backupbear I'm sad no Aussie coworker ever introduced me to this. Truly negligent
Show threadHo Ho Ho Like The Slur2d ago

@giflian @backupbear to be fair we don't say the thing about fucking spiders very much, but not because it has fuck in it.

We do say the mutt's nuts, the dog's bollocks [both meaning the best], like tits on a bull [not useful/bad resource allocation], gone tits up [that's broken/the organisational structure has collapsed] and mad cunt [trustworthy and solid friend, great person].

Show threadHo Ho Ho Like The Slur2d ago
@giflian @backupbear speaking for my own regions of course. Maybe there are areas of australia that are all about not fucking spiders
Show threadHo Ho Ho Like The Slur2d ago
@giflian @backupbear "off like a frog in a sock"
Show threadGiflian2d ago

@coolandnormal @backupbear I will note that in Canadian lingo "fuck the dog" and "screw the pooch" mean different things.

I did ask a manager if there was an Australian version of a "trash panda" and that's how I learned about the "bin chicken"

Show threadHo Ho Ho Like The Slur2d ago
@giflian @backupbear yes! We have bin chickens, also cockatoos are great at getting into bins. I don't know if they have a nickname because they don't do it here (not many people out here, not enough bins, not worth learning how to get into them).
Show threadPreston von Gabbleduck2d ago
@coolandnormal @giflian I thought cockatoos were just "right proper little bastards" when they got into bins :)
Show threadBellycan2d ago
@coolandnormal @giflian @backupbear mostly they are Jerk Birds, because the getting into bins and tossing things out is the least of their crimes.