Human Ghostwriter
Just noticed this on my kids' box of Frosted Flakes. Why would you need to specify that your mascot, the cartoon you invented for the purpose of advertising your sugared wheat shards, endorses your cereal? Is your spokestiger moonlighting for some other brands? Are his affections (which are, again, the product of your own internal marketing committeebrains) for your mouth-lacerating breakfast razors in doubt? Who is this for?
Mar 19 at 12:10amWeb
Show threadHuman GhostwriterMar 20
Still gonna eat three bowls of this stuff after bedtime, though.
Show threadBookMar 19
@HG your writing is inspired.
Show threadHuman GhostwriterMar 19

@book

Show threadJoshMar 19
@HG Follow-up: what unofficial cereals does Tony like?
Show threadPaul BoneMar 19
@josh @HG Came here to say this. I want to know if he has a preferred cereal, or if he's always eaten frosted flakes but one time went to a marketing conference and the breakfast buffet only had porridge and he was racked with guilt as he ate the deliciously warm porridge.
Show threadHuman GhostwriterMar 19

@pbone @josh

I'm guessing he's a big quinoa guy.

Show threadJoshMar 19
@HG @pbone Yeah but not on main. That’s what alt is for.
Show threadEric Daryl MeyerMar 19
@HG Sorry to say that you missed your calling as a hard-hitting cereal review guy for a major national newspaper.
Show threadHuman GhostwriterMar 19

@ericdaryl

FUCK.

Show threadNeilMar 19
@HG It smacks of desperation.
Show threadTockMar 19
@HG Design-by-committee. That last bastion of a 60+ guy on the company payroll who insists that mentions of false sponsorship are needed to fill "white space" on the box.
Show threadDavid WillanskiMar 19
@HG it's so you don't get fooled by Frosted Fakes, the official cereal of Lony the Liger
Show threadHuman GhostwriterMar 19

@dwillanski

Theeeeeeyyyy're fine.

Show threadj-r conlinMar 19

@HG

You're not thinking outside of the box.

Show threadHuman GhostwriterMar 19

@jrconlin

The thought of anyone with such a deep voice laying pipe is, I hate to say it, really funny to me.

Show threadj-r conlinMar 19

@HG

The downside being you know exactly what he'd say to "How was it for you, baby?"

Show threadCoyotyMar 19

@HG Tigers are killers. Tony is a cereal killer. Frosted Flakes is the only cereal they can officially link him to.

Some theories link him to Coco Puffs, but that's Cuckoo.