Michele Feltman Strider3d ago

"I enjoy life; I might almost say that with every year that passes I enjoy it more."

It took hours of searching Goodreads, but you finally found the perfect public-domain inspirational quote. You paste it into Google, select Chinese, and screenshot the translation. It'll make an epic tattoo. It's the perfect way to celebrate a birthday that ends in 0. Plus, it'll really show up your ex. Who's boring and predictable now? Not you. Not anymore.

You look in the mirror to decide where to get inked.

Arm
33.3%
Leg
18.5%
Chest
22.2%
Back
25.9%
Poll ended at .
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider2d ago

You arrive early for your appointment because you are reliable. Not predictable. Dependable.

You show the tattoo artist the characters you want on your arm. She looks skeptical, but as a veteran of many spring breaks, she agrees and goes to print a stencil.

She returns with it and two other people.

"This?" A slim, colorful woman holds up the design.

You nod.

"As was foretold?" asks a dark, burly man.

"Yes." You did call ahead.

"Do you hail from the North, South, East, or West?" he asks.

North
29.2%
South
18.8%
East
22.9%
West
29.2%
Poll ended at .
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider

"The Great Northwest, actually."

"We've been expecting you," says the colorful woman.

OK. You made the appointment days ago.

"Summon the council," she tells the man, who rushes off. You didn't realize a tattoo required City Hall's approval.

"This way." She leads you through dark curtains into an incense-choked room. You give them high marks for ambience, though the candlelight seems insufficient to the task.

She gestures for you to lie on a stone table. "Choose a hue for the dedication!"

Blood red
8.5%
Night black
12.8%
Star white
4.3%
Infinity purple
74.5%
Poll ended at .
Mar 19 at 12:01amWeb
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider16h ago

"Power to the purple!" you declare as you hop onto the table and point to your bicep. "Right arm!"

The woman bows with great reverence.

This is much cooler than you expected. You feel edgy, daring. It's the best birthday present you've ever given yourself.

The tattoo artist enters the room, along with a bank of fog and a mid-size coven of cloaked figures.

"Prepare the instruments!" the colorful woman commands, then turns to you. "Do you request chanting, silence, or a hymn for the ceremony?"

Chanting
Silence
Hymn
Actually, I made a playlist just for this
Poll ends at .
Show threadToast, Anonymous Fedi Fungus15h ago
@michelestrider Acid Mothers Temple. One song is probably long enough for the whole tattoo.
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider13h ago
@ShiitakeToast I had to Google. This is amazing!
Show threadToast, Anonymous Fedi Fungus12h ago
@michelestrider my favorite is Eleking the Clay. Perfect to get enough movement into your body to overcome the worst inertia
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider11h ago
@ShiitakeToast I'll check it out!
Show threadGueule d'atmosphère1d ago
@michelestrider
Infinity Purple is to Deep Purple what Jefferson Starship is to Jefferson Airplane.
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider1d ago
@gueuledatmosphere That sounds right
Show threadToast, Anonymous Fedi Fungus1d ago
@michelestrider Who’s not gonna pick purple?
Show threadMichele Feltman Strider1d ago
@ShiitakeToast It's surprisingly popular. Power to the purple!
Show threadThanatoid Jones1d ago
@michelestrider @ShiitakeToast Right arm!