internetsdairyMar 18

For no other reason than I'm making a very low maintenance dinner right now, I'm going to list some of the random people I encountered temping in the 90s and early 00s.

-guy in the Sealed Knot who one day brought his sword and breastplate into work so we could have swordfighting lessons at lunchtime

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-guy who regarded socks as disposable and wore a brand new pair each day (in Major's economy!)
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-guy who got let go for saying "motherfucking" in every sentence in the staff canteen, which he probably shouldn't have done, although the person who dobbed him in did so for primarily racist reasons (years later his band was on Groundforce)
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-girl who invited me to her house for a smoke and with the benefit of three decades of wisdom I'm guessing she might have expected more from the evening?
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-Poor woman who went temporarily blind on seeing a spider in the warehouse (what was called hysterical blindness but would now be termed conversion disorder, I think)
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-Guy who I spent a whole week stuffing envelopes with, we had really good deep chats for four solid days but then he got in a huff because I was sceptical that Jesus literally did miracles etc
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-girl who brought in copies of a porno filmed in and around Northampton (where this post is set), it had the train station, shopping centre, round the back of KwikFit, and even shots of the balloon festival, the highlight of the Northamptonian year
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May continue after dinner
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-Lovely older guy who used to be a ballerina and took Clubcard enquiries in the poshest, most refined voice imaginable
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-older woman who kept massaging my shoulders 😕
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-super quiet guy who we stumbled across behind some boxes in the warehouse one lunchtime doing martial arts exercises
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-Guy who used to let us smoke drugs in his car at lunchtime which we usually did because drugs even though he was going through a bad break up and always put on Bat Out of Hell incredibly loud
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-Excellent guy who would say "do you want to see my sausage impression?" and when you replied in the affirmative, obviously, he would just throw himself to the ground and wiggle around with arms and legs rigid like he was frying in a pan
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-Guy who, after working with us for a couple of months, revealed he wasn't actually called what we'd been calling him, he'd been pretending to be his identical twin for benefits reasons or something complicated
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-Guy who I had to train to use a mouse
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-Woman at Barclaycard who was actually a permanent member of staff but spent the entire week I was there making Mr Blobby decorations.
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-Guy who smoked cherry tobacco in his pipe in the tiny canteen, much to the disgust of most colleagues. Actually this was the Sealed Knott guy. He had a Don Quixote mustache, probably about 23 years old. He taped Faith No More's Angel Dust for me
Show threadHumphrey Archer
@internetsdairy
I rolled my own cigarettes using cherry pipe tobacco.
Switched to rum & maple
Gave up because it was just too much work
Mar 18 at 9:10pmMastodon for Android