internetsdairyMar 18

For no other reason than I'm making a very low maintenance dinner right now, I'm going to list some of the random people I encountered temping in the 90s and early 00s.

-guy in the Sealed Knot who one day brought his sword and breastplate into work so we could have swordfighting lessons at lunchtime

Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-guy who regarded socks as disposable and wore a brand new pair each day (in Major's economy!)
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-guy who got let go for saying "motherfucking" in every sentence in the staff canteen, which he probably shouldn't have done, although the person who dobbed him in did so for primarily racist reasons (years later his band was on Groundforce)
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-girl who invited me to her house for a smoke and with the benefit of three decades of wisdom I'm guessing she might have expected more from the evening?
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Poor woman who went temporarily blind on seeing a spider in the warehouse (what was called hysterical blindness but would now be termed conversion disorder, I think)
Show threadinternetsdairy
-Guy who I spent a whole week stuffing envelopes with, we had really good deep chats for four solid days but then he got in a huff because I was sceptical that Jesus literally did miracles etc
Mar 18 at 6:29pmWeb
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-girl who brought in copies of a porno filmed in and around Northampton (where this post is set), it had the train station, shopping centre, round the back of KwikFit, and even shots of the balloon festival, the highlight of the Northamptonian year
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
May continue after dinner
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Lovely older guy who used to be a ballerina and took Clubcard enquiries in the poshest, most refined voice imaginable
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-older woman who kept massaging my shoulders 😕
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-super quiet guy who we stumbled across behind some boxes in the warehouse one lunchtime doing martial arts exercises
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Guy who used to let us smoke drugs in his car at lunchtime which we usually did because drugs even though he was going through a bad break up and always put on Bat Out of Hell incredibly loud
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Excellent guy who would say "do you want to see my sausage impression?" and when you replied in the affirmative, obviously, he would just throw himself to the ground and wiggle around with arms and legs rigid like he was frying in a pan
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Guy who, after working with us for a couple of months, revealed he wasn't actually called what we'd been calling him, he'd been pretending to be his identical twin for benefits reasons or something complicated
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Guy who I had to train to use a mouse
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Woman at Barclaycard who was actually a permanent member of staff but spent the entire week I was there making Mr Blobby decorations.
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
-Guy who smoked cherry tobacco in his pipe in the tiny canteen, much to the disgust of most colleagues. Actually this was the Sealed Knott guy. He had a Don Quixote mustache, probably about 23 years old. He taped Faith No More's Angel Dust for me
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
I think that's probably all the people
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
Oh there was Thadeus! We all hated Thadeus! I think just because he was called Thadeus which tbh wasn't his fault. Sorry Thadeus!
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 19
Boss who was really lovely to me until Diana died and I admitted to being a bit mystified by the public reaction.
Show threadRuby JonesMar 19
@internetsdairy It was a very weird moment in time.
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 19
@rubyjones my favourite memory of that time is my local Costcutter had a little shrine made of a photo of her cut out of a magazine, surrounded by tea lights, propped up on a four-pack of White Lightning.
Show threadRuby JonesMar 20

@internetsdairy Amazing. The definition of class.

My main memory of that was watching TV the morning it happened, wondering why every channel was a Diana documentary. It took about half an hour of footage and solemn commentary before anyone mentioned that she's died.

Show threadinternetsdairyMar 20
@rubyjones my mum told me and I started laughing because I'd recently got heavily into Chris Morris and was mostly thinking about how amusing the Brasseye mailing list was going to be that week. Which tbh was kind of immature because she did at least use royalty/celebrity for good at times. But oh boy the media
Show threadRuby JonesMar 20

@internetsdairy I had no especial affection for her (although I now recognise just how much of the 'attention-seeking' negative reputation she had was manufactured by the media and royal family) and found all the public mourning for a stranger deeply weird. There were books in our school for everyone to write a message in to send to her kids?? I can't imagine they appreciated that.

But when I told my mum she said, 'Well, that solves that problem.' And I was like, Wow. Cold.

Show threadinternetsdairyMar 20
@rubyjones lol, does she subscribe to the orchestrated assassination masterminded by the queen theory?
Show threadHumphrey ArcherMar 18
@internetsdairy
I rolled my own cigarettes using cherry pipe tobacco.
Switched to rum & maple
Gave up because it was just too much work
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
...just the unexpected professionalism and presence of mind to pan slowly up from the wobbling bum of the woman you're shagging up to the sky to get some b-roll of a hot air balloon shaped like Cornelius the Corn Flakes hen
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
Like I never used a 90s video camera but that's going to be very different exposure and focus, if it wasn't automatic, that's some impressive multitasking.
Show threadstaringatcloudsMar 18
@internetsdairy Did it have the test tower aka the lighthouse?
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 19
@staringatclouds That's a good question! I don't think it did have the lift testing tower. Or Alan Moore.
Show threadMy name is GordoMar 18
@internetsdairy This thread is both surprisingly non sequitur and surprisingly delightful. Meeting strange characters was definitely one of few advantages of temp work. I hope to never have to do it again.
Show threadinternetsdairyMar 18
@gordoooo_z yeah, the actual work, pay and conditions were usually horrible, but often there were loads of fun people to chat with. A lot of students on holiday and early 20s people (which included me) but then because the economy was so bad there were quite a few older people, too. Now, my pay and conditions are pretty good but I talk to basically noone most of the time so I miss that aspect
Show threadMy name is GordoMar 18

@internetsdairy Yeah I remember one guy maybe just a bit older than me that I got along with because he liked to talk movies (you know what, I still have a book he lent me; I should read that) who it turned out was a trained architect. We were assembling office chairs for like $12.50 an hour.

One of the last temp jobs I ever worked had unusually fantastic conditions though. Very much the kind of management that wanted to move you into a position where you could thrive. Even while you were still a temp, they really emphasized meeting but not exceeding your prods, so you could sustain it. Then the client moved themselves into the office and everything got horrible (thanks Walmart; real nice work). It was nice well it lasted.

Anyway, they ended up cancelling the contract and taking over within a year of cutting me loose.

Show threadHeatherMar 18
@gordoooo_z @internetsdairy I second, third and fourth that!