Mastodawn

Why not try an Irish Coffee for St Patrick’s Day?

Just make a normal coffee, then make sure there’s no snakes in it.

An “Irish Goodbye” is when you quietly leave the party, taking all the snakes with you.

An Irish stew can be made with lamb, mutton or beef, but never snakes.

Irish whiskey is made in the same way as Scotch, except without the snakes.

The Irish language has similarities to other Celtic languages, but has no words for snake.

The “Irish diaspora” worldwide is made up of 80 million people and 200 million snakes

An Irish breakfast is similar to an English breakfast, but with the addition of potato bread, soda bread, white pudding, and without any snakes.

Pleased to announce that I will be representing 200 million descendants of displaced snakes in their class action against the Catholic Church.

@Nickiquote "Can one of you mothafuckas tell me where the mothafuckin' Catholic Church is when you mothafuckin' need them?"

-- Samuel L. Jackson, on a Boeing 747 en route to Los Angeles International Airport, 2006.