Cat Hicks5d ago

Because mastodon is like a 99% male audience, I will say this: if you have an aging mother you are in relationship with and care about, do NOT make her go through medical stuff alone. I am skilled & mean enough to fight through medical stuff and even so you would not believe how bad it is. Just accept that you cannot imagine.

I talk to a lot of people's aging moms and they are abandoned & alone even in nice families. I don't care how awkward it is, you have to try to ask them about it.

Show threadCat Hicks5d ago

Our moms are suffering because no one cares and they aren't telling anyone. They're getting diagnoses 15 years late, they're being bullied about medications, they're silent about what they're going through.

The difference between the younger women and the older women in the patient groups I'm in is horrific. I have listened to many, many people's moms describe years of suffering that could've been prevented. I am not trying to lay on any guilt. I'm just saying a little bit could go a long way.

Show threadCat Hicks5d ago
It doesn't have to be this way. I have helped multiple older women argue to get past primary care and get to specialists and learn that there is better science than decades ago, that has studied more women, but there's only one of me in these chats. You can't fix the system but if you have an older woman in your life you can ask if you can research something for them, or go to an appointment and make sure they're heard, or suggest the random pains they have are a thing that needs attention.
Show threadBite Code!
@grimalkina I'm interested in hearing what you have to say, but you have to make it clearer because this is a topic many have absolutely zero knowledge about. We need examples, steps to take, and advice. You really need to spell it out. Talking with your aging parents is not easy. Autonomy, shame and ego are all mixed up in there. There is history on top of that. So can you give us a head start? In fact, a dedicated podcast episode would rock. Something one could also share with relatives.
Mar 17 at 4:16pmWeb
Show threadCat Hicks4d ago

@bitecode who do you think I am, John Green?? Where am I getting the money and time to make all of that on top of all the free labor I am already doing? This is literally a call to action for other people to do more BECAUSE I am already at the absolute limits of how much I can help with this.

I don't mind respectful content requests, but telling me "you have to do x" and "you need x" is NOT it.

Show threadBite Code!3d ago
@grimalkina I see. You seem to be going through hard times. I'll make sure you don't hear from me again.