I just figured out a lovely little #ADHD brainmine / self-gaslighting that I've been doing.

You know how in order to get yourself to do something difficult, ADHD means you have to find a way to feel enthusiastic about it, right?

Extensive childhood training, however, will always remind me that if I feel like I want to do something, it's "playing", and I really should be doing my work (i.e. something else).

Therefore: by the time I psych myself into doing something I don't really want to do, I feel guilty and anxious about it because I should really be doing something else.