Cat Hicks5d ago

Because mastodon is like a 99% male audience, I will say this: if you have an aging mother you are in relationship with and care about, do NOT make her go through medical stuff alone. I am skilled & mean enough to fight through medical stuff and even so you would not believe how bad it is. Just accept that you cannot imagine.

I talk to a lot of people's aging moms and they are abandoned & alone even in nice families. I don't care how awkward it is, you have to try to ask them about it.

Show threadCat Hicks5d ago

Our moms are suffering because no one cares and they aren't telling anyone. They're getting diagnoses 15 years late, they're being bullied about medications, they're silent about what they're going through.

The difference between the younger women and the older women in the patient groups I'm in is horrific. I have listened to many, many people's moms describe years of suffering that could've been prevented. I am not trying to lay on any guilt. I'm just saying a little bit could go a long way.

Show threadCat Hicks5d ago
It doesn't have to be this way. I have helped multiple older women argue to get past primary care and get to specialists and learn that there is better science than decades ago, that has studied more women, but there's only one of me in these chats. You can't fix the system but if you have an older woman in your life you can ask if you can research something for them, or go to an appointment and make sure they're heard, or suggest the random pains they have are a thing that needs attention.
Show threadJoby (chaotic good)
@grimalkina I once saw a post that I think about a lot, something like: all of women’s medicine is like “we know this thing about your body is 100% true because we did one study 70 years ago. They studied one rat. The rat was male.”
Mar 17 at 3:27pmWeb
Show threadFrank Watson4d ago
@joby @grimalkina Opinion: So many that work in medicine do it to make a living not to care for people. It's a job. Nothing in the system encourages excellence so care givers eventually give in to the system. Thank you to advocates, care givers and and administrators that find the energy to resist. We learn to Advocate as our older family members slowly die and we try to support them. So confusing, so tiring, so much ignorance and indifference. And, we are next.