Harvey SandstromFive shall be the number of the helping. And the number of the helping shall be five. Four shalt thou not help, neither help thou four, excepting that thoust then proceed to five. SIX IS RIGHT OUT.
#monsterdon
DUN DUN SANDALLLLLLLL #monsterdon
Hera should check her headgasket, looks like she's burning coolant. #monsterdon
I'm Jason, you might remember me from the title. #monsterdon
You heard there's a tree at the end of the world? Not to be confused with the restaurant at the end of the universe? #Monsterdon
Build a ship, and collect two of every, no no wait. Shit. How does it go again? #monsterdon
Check it out. I was Hermes all along. Pretty cool huh? #monsterdon
It is at least a half decent Mount Olympus set and matte painting. #Monsterdon
Hermes is like instacart but for unwitting mortals. #monsterdon
Hearts of men are known to be way more valuable than gold.
By weight.
#monsterdon
HELP_COUNTER -= 1
Oh and I invented the olympics to build a ship, bee tee dubs. #monsterdon
Content warning: The hercules in this movie is not a bodybuilder. #monsterdon
Discus?
No thanks I already ate.
#monsterdon sterdon
Content warning: Terrifying animated Hera figurehead incoming. #monsterdon
Is there any historical evidence for the rowing pacing drum trope or is just movie BS like vikings with horns on their helmets? #monsterdon
Avert your eyes. More Hera creepiness incoming. #Monsterdon sterdon
HELP_COUNTER -= 1
Bro you're burning through Hera Help points like it's going out of style. #monsterdon
Hercules and his side twink ruin it for everyone. Spoiler alert. #Monsterdon
Hey, remember JUST being told not to take anything. Are you 5 years old? #monsterdon
CUE THE RAY HARRYHAUSSEN
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
Just leave herc and his side twink behind, they don't even make decent eye candy.
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
I switched off not long after this last time. So I don't actually know what happens past the next terrifying talking Hera head scene. #monsterdon
Water does not scale to miniature sizes, that or droplets used to be the size of yoga balls. #monsterdon
"Fight telos with your wits... Uhh actually... In your case maybe just run."
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
Somehow a whispering Hera head is even creepier than a talking one. Like ASMR uncanny valley worst of both worlds.
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
Bro you've got some patina, you're gonna want to get that looked at and wear sunscreen. #monsterdon
Not my giant ankle plug! My one weakness! #monsterdon
Just stand there while he defeats you. No big. #monsterdon
Giant copper statues are powered by boiling kool-aid.
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
#monsterdon
Omg don't use a Hera point to find the twink. #monsterdon
Whoa that one reaction shot was super badly scratched. #monsterdon
He used his last Hera help point just to find out that Herc isn't coming back. And prevent a mutiny, so I guess it was worth it. #monsterdon
No more phone-a-friends, Jason, now you can only ask the audience. #monsterdon
They hadn't invented audio description tracks yet: YOU ARE BEING ATTACKED BY BLUE BATWINGED THINGAMAJIGS. #monsterdon
Yeah you're gonna wanna avoid defying the gods in a universe where they are real. #monsterdon
Harpies are supposed to be half bird, not terrifying bat thing. #monsterdon
Good thing we had this METRIC ASSLOAD OF NETTING just laying around. #monsterdon
And that's how we domesticated harpies and how you can buy one in a pet shop to this day. #monsterdon
Yeah you want separate cages for your harpies otherwise they just end up eating each other. How do they not know that? #Monsterdon
Everyone prepare for an easy stroke on this ship of entirely men.
I have no comment on this.
#monsterdon
Is this a schylla and kharibdis situation or is t other monsters that I can't spell off the top of my head? #Monsterdon
How did they do these photocomposites? The hair blends pretty well. #monsterdon
Not really a disguised merman fetish, more of a centrally featured merman fetish.
So, uh.
Who the hell was that?
#monsterdon
You only dived into the water because she's a woman. #monsterdon
Oh hey you have a golden fleece? Can I like... have it? It's a pretty important deliverable for this project. #monsterdon
Day for slightly dimmer day. #monsterdon
Their swords sound like dumping a bucket of chains into another bucket full of chains. #monsterdon
Weirdly short underwater fight scene cut due to camera failure??? #monsterdon
Show me your healing flower and also leave me alone with your golden fleece for an hour or two. Trust me. #monsterdon
Stop making advances. She already said she goes another way. #monsterdon
Bitchin temple composite. #monsterdon
Any man of whom he asks what who now? Can you phrase it like a human being?
#Monsterdon
#Monsterdon
Why did you come to caulk us?
I heard your tub needed recaulking.
#monsterdon
And the award for fakest beard in the whole movie goes to this dude.
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
The captain dude is wearing actual clothes. I barely recognized him. #Monsterdon
The golden fleece is legit half Christmas tinsel. #monsterdon