I know 8 trans people well and many more as acquaintances. The 8 people I know well range from being an old childhood friend, to coworkers, to students, to neighbors.

I'm mostly aware that they are trans at all due to the increase in anti-trans laws and blatant transphobia in the US. Were it not for that? I might not know or even care. I worry about them.

In each case the fact that they are trans is one of the less interesting things I know about them.

I sometimes want to just explain to the bigots, this could all be very normal if you'd stop huffing bigoted media and get to know someone who was trans. It's just like ... a hormone imbalance that can be treated. It's like being mad at people for having red hair. If only you knew how boring this could be, how normal. How easy to forget that they are trans.

And I could just forget, if it weren't for the bigotry and the threats to their safety.

In decades of knowing trans people and being in places that are more accepting of trans and LGBTQ people I've never once had someone say "how dare you misgender me" though if someone had I don't know if that would matter, it's just nothing like what people expect and fear.

No one is pole dancing. I do not live in a gay pride parade.

I'm a Christian, I go to church now and then. I'm inwardly kind of prudish and I don't even like being around people swearing much.

@futurebird
In my experience, LGBTQ people and their allies want it to be illegal to express yourself in a way that offends them, including misgendering.
Maybe it's different on your side of the pond.

@light

With an online conversation it's hard to know if someone who disagrees with you is being sincere or not.

"LGBTQ people and their allies want it to be illegal to express yourself"

There are always limits to expression. If I decide I don't want to call you by your name, but I feel that "Sealion" is a better name for you, I could get in trouble at work or at school for doing that after you object... because it's rude.

@futurebird
I have to admit, I don't currently work and I haven't been in school for ages. I'm still rebuilding my life. So I can't really comment on that last point. But I reckon it's probably different in those circumstances than in society as a whole. But still, https://qoto.org/@light/116217402058880799
Light (@[email protected])

@[email protected] It says on the page you linked: >Refusing to address a trans person by their preferred name and correct gender pronoun: > A manager repeatedly addresses a trans woman by her previous name or uses "he/him" pronouns, even though she has clearly communicated her preferred name and pronouns, undermining her gender identity in meetings and emails. >Repeated and deliberate mis-gendering of a trans person or people: > A co-worker continuously refers to a nonbinary employee using the wrong pronouns despite being corrected multiple times, doing so in conversations and written communication as a form of disrespect. This is what I take issue with. People should be free to express their opinion on whether a trans person is a man or a woman. Forcing them to act as if someone is a sex which they are clearly not is tyranny of the same kind as Winston Smith being forced to accept that 2+2=5. @[email protected] @[email protected]

Qoto Mastodon
Yes, I sincerely believe in freedom of speech. Is there a problem with that? Does that make me a "sea lion"? What even is a "sea lion"? Someone who asks questions? What's wrong with asking questions? Curiosity and debate are good things.
Do you also have this attitude with your students?
@futurebird

@light Just as a semi-disinterested observer: if I held *any* generosity or respect for your position, this disingenuous "well what does sealion actually mean? isn't it something incredibly harmless and positive?" made me lose it. No, a sealion is not somebody who just asks questions, and you know it.

@futurebird

@adriano @futurebird No, I don't.
A sealion is someone who already thinks they know the right answer, but keeps asking questions to make it look like they don't, with the general goal of humiliating the people you're talking to, and making it look like they're wrong. Whether they are wrong doesn't matter to a sealion, because they already know the right answer. They think.

Another word for it is "The Socratic Method"
As an example "Yes, I sincerely believe in freedom of speech. Is there a problem with that?" No there is not a problem with that, you think. But you ask the question anyway because you want to see them fall over themselves failing to answer. Whether or not there is a problem with the belief in freedom of speech doesn't matter to you, because you've already decided there isn't.

CC: @[email protected]
@cy
It's just a perfectly normal rhetorical question. You hear them all the time in the real world. You know, the one away from your computer?
Seriously, I never heard anyone have a problem with them before I started using the internet.
You never got in trouble for saying a bad word?

I mean it's possible. Maybe that's just something that goes on in the States?
@cy
From whom? My parents? Maybe, at some point. I don't remember. I'm an adult now.
Well, when I speak with people I try to be careful in my speech, not to hurt anyone. Too often freedom of speech is an excuse for being a dick, and threatening people into submission, and I don't want people to do that. Thus, I do sometimes have a problem with "freedom of speech."

Not like other people here who are all "This is the list of no-no words." I'm not 6 years old. But for instance doxxing someone is an immediate loss of freedom of speech, IMO. It's too dangerous to let that kind of blackmail go unchecked.