I know 8 trans people well and many more as acquaintances. The 8 people I know well range from being an old childhood friend, to coworkers, to students, to neighbors.
I'm mostly aware that they are trans at all due to the increase in anti-trans laws and blatant transphobia in the US. Were it not for that? I might not know or even care. I worry about them.
In each case the fact that they are trans is one of the less interesting things I know about them.
I sometimes want to just explain to the bigots, this could all be very normal if you'd stop huffing bigoted media and get to know someone who was trans. It's just like ... a hormone imbalance that can be treated. It's like being mad at people for having red hair. If only you knew how boring this could be, how normal. How easy to forget that they are trans.
And I could just forget, if it weren't for the bigotry and the threats to their safety.
In decades of knowing trans people and being in places that are more accepting of trans and LGBTQ people I've never once had someone say "how dare you misgender me" though if someone had I don't know if that would matter, it's just nothing like what people expect and fear.
No one is pole dancing. I do not live in a gay pride parade.
I'm a Christian, I go to church now and then. I'm inwardly kind of prudish and I don't even like being around people swearing much.
With an online conversation it's hard to know if someone who disagrees with you is being sincere or not.
"LGBTQ people and their allies want it to be illegal to express yourself"
There are always limits to expression. If I decide I don't want to call you by your name, but I feel that "Sealion" is a better name for you, I could get in trouble at work or at school for doing that after you object... because it's rude.
@[email protected] It says on the page you linked: >Refusing to address a trans person by their preferred name and correct gender pronoun: > A manager repeatedly addresses a trans woman by her previous name or uses "he/him" pronouns, even though she has clearly communicated her preferred name and pronouns, undermining her gender identity in meetings and emails. >Repeated and deliberate mis-gendering of a trans person or people: > A co-worker continuously refers to a nonbinary employee using the wrong pronouns despite being corrected multiple times, doing so in conversations and written communication as a form of disrespect. This is what I take issue with. People should be free to express their opinion on whether a trans person is a man or a woman. Forcing them to act as if someone is a sex which they are clearly not is tyranny of the same kind as Winston Smith being forced to accept that 2+2=5. @[email protected] @[email protected]
@light Just as a semi-disinterested observer: if I held *any* generosity or respect for your position, this disingenuous "well what does sealion actually mean? isn't it something incredibly harmless and positive?" made me lose it. No, a sealion is not somebody who just asks questions, and you know it.
It never feels good to be wrong. I should know. I want to think "This will sink in if they think about it. And it's easier for me to talk about it than someone more directly invested"
But then I think about a friend who was with their girl scout troop on a trip and some jerk thought one of the girls "didn't look like a girl" and thought it was his duty to bring this up (and the child heard this!) because that's where this is going.
If you are wondering "well was it a trans kid?" Why. That is irrelevant. That is the wrong thing to be worried about here.
Not all girls "look like girls" according to the whims of random men. Their opinions on "what is objectively a woman" are unimportant.
But, in this case it was a cis girl. Just not the most conforming kind of little girl. She wanted to see the dinosaurs at the Natural History museum. Will she even remember the dinosaurs or will she remember the asshole?
"Is it rude to say that a girl doesn't look like a girl? Well, I assume it depends on the girl."
Listen to yourself. What are you going to do? Make a femininity chart for children with allowed haircuts and clothing choices? "If you have less than six points on The Light Noc Social femininity scale then it is fine to insult the child."
Come on. Cut it out.
Bruh. I'm done.
@futurebird
That's disingenuous. I am NOT saying that femininity or masculinity should be regulated or officialised or anything that. I am saying it depends on the person being "misgendered" whether it is offensive to them or not.
But you knew that. You don't actually care about dialogue. You just want to browbeat an unbeliever on the internet. Fuck you.
myrmepropagandist
Light
Adriano