Joonas MuhonenMar 14
Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) ⁠
Beware of the Guardian Loafs
Mar 13 at 10:24pmWeb
Show threadNuclear OatmealMar 13

@catsalad

Ah fuck. They're going to ask me a riddle and eat me slowly if I fail to answer correctly.

Show threadjavensbukanMar 13
@catsalad The password is pspspspsps
Show threadkwayk42Mar 13

@catsalad when two cats are loafing and facing each other, that means there's an invisible trip wire between them

Thems is just tha facts

Show threadErik 🖖Mar 13
@catsalad The transit permit will be expensive.
Show threadCaptain ButtonMar 13

@Erik2485 @catsalad

Will I need Letters of Transit? Signed by DeGaulle?

Show threadjelteMar 13
@catsalad
Show threadDaveography 🇨🇦Mar 14

@jelte @catsalad

Pew pew

Show threadZamnightMar 13
@catsalad
Show threadThe TurtleMar 13
@catsalad we have ones like that. Stripey and black. And a third very fluffy.
Show threadFlaming CheetoMar 13
@catsalad one guardian always lies. The other ignores you and won't respond to any provocation
Show threadThe Polish DispatchMar 13
@catsalad Gate to the Southern Oracle.
Show threadFrankMar 13
@catsalad no ankle is safe
Show threadfossiliteMar 13
@catsalad
Show threadcrowMar 13
@catsalad one tells only the truth and tells only lies
Show threadChuff²Mar 13
The one on the left always lies, and the other one always tells the truth?
Show threadDavid NashMar 14

@chuff @catsalad

“No problem, I know what to do here.”

“If I asked the other cat if you were a tabby, what would they say?”

(tabby): meow
(not-tabby): meow

“Crap, which meow is ‘yes’ and which one is ‘no’, again?”

Show threadAsta [AMP]Mar 13
@catsalad behold, two guardians. one always tells lies about the last time they were fed, and the other also always tells lies about the last time they were fed
Show threadComrade WeezMar 14
@catsalad can you get them with wings? Everybody fears a flyin' lyin' lion. Ain't nobody getting into that rumpus room
Show threaddiana 🏳️‍⚧️🦋🌱Mar 14

@catsalad

Earlier

Show threadLudwig VielfrassMar 14
@dianea @catsalad There's a stargate in the basement.
Show threadJack the Waterlogged CountMar 14
@dianea Those are psychopomps hard at work. @catsalad
Show threadThat’s a morayMar 14
@dianea @catsalad I would not go into that basement for love or money.
Show threadOrion (he/him)Mar 14
@dianea @catsalad There's an Egyptian god down there. It's going to eat you or give you vast cosmic powers. Choose.
Show threadstevenrayMar 14
@dianea @catsalad I totally see where the Egyptians got their ‘cat style’ from.
Show threadjbaggsMar 14
@dianea @catsalad Thoth is down there weighing hearts. Do not disturb.
Show threadNegative12DollarBillMar 14
@dianea @catsalad
You have to ask the one on the left "what would the one on the right tell me?".
Show threadGreg BellMar 14
@catsalad lions guarding the stairs to a library
Show threadcroutonMar 14
@catsalad the invisible level 50 loaf is the one you gotta watch out for
Show threadJargogglesMar 14

@catsalad
"None may venture through unless they answer our riddle true...

Is there food in our dish?"

"Yes."

"Incorrect. You may not pass."

"But look, there's lots of food in the dish, just not in the middle."

"SO, YOU HAVE CHOSEN DEATH!"

Show threadSindarina, Edge Case DetectiveMar 14
@catsalad You must appease with pettings three.
Show threadAaronMar 14

@sindarina @catsalad

What...is the moment you should stop petting?

I don't know that! Aaaaaaaaaah! [bloody hand flies into the gorge]

Show threadgroxxMar 14
@catsalad One speaks only lies, and the other's food bowl is empty
Show threadkonstruct-960T-BF64.ggufMar 14
@catsalad one of them only tells lies and the other only truth
Show threadPersephoneMar 14
@konstruct @catsalad oh no wait, they're talking about their food bowls. They both lie
Show threadessjaxMar 14
@catsalad Nice stairway you have there.
Would be a shame if something were to happen on your approach.
Show threadMaura HubbellMar 14
@catsalad No passing without skritches.
Show threadGabriel Viso CarreraMar 14
@catsalad
Show threadSimon ZerafaMar 14

@catsalad

Stop!

Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!

😉🖖

Show threadSimon ZerafaMar 14

@catsalad

Perhaps these should be the Stairs of Slight Misfortune? 😉

Show threadGrrsly Adams Family VacationMar 14
@catsalad No one's lap is safe.
Show threadgrob (teeth era) 🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Mar 14

@catsalad to enter the sacred realm of the great downstairs, you must solve a riddle. Solve it and pass. Fail and you shall be meowed at. Loudly.

(The riddle is "where snack?". Always. So bring kibble)

Show thread@pineywoozle ‘s #3WordNoteMar 14
@catsalad Anyone can pass …but you will be judged and found wanting.
🤣 🤣 🤣
Show threadWillow 🏳️‍⚧️🏴🇵🇸Mar 14
@catsalad one of them always lies and the other one always tells the truth.