PugJesus

Abu Nuwas the Mad Masturbator

https://piefed.social/c/historymemes/p/1862600/abu-nuwas-the-mad-masturbator

Mar 10 at 4:51pmWeb
Show threadxxce2AAbMar 10
At least it’s a peaceful and inexpensive hobby.
Show threadPugJesusMar 10

“Masturbation? A man of your talents?”

“It’s a peaceful life.”

Show threadxxce2AAbMar 10

“I could write entire book on masturbatory techniques and their many intricacies, but I’d need my dominant hand for that, and it’s presently occupied.”

“…We’re having a conversation.”

“Oh, I don’t mind me. I don’t find it distracting at all.”

Show threadgibmiserMar 10
That’s too perfect, is it from something? Feels like Dennis from its always sunny
Show threadxxce2AAbMar 10
No, my mind just works in mysterious and occasionally unfortunate ways.
Show threadInfiniteStruggleMar 11
Scholar and a Gentleman
Show threadxxce2AAb3d ago
Why, thank you. That’s most gracious of you.
Show threadP00ptartMar 11
You can masterbate peacefully?!?
Show threadxxce2AAbMar 11
I don’t know how you do it, but personally I rarely engage in bloodsport in the middle of my masturbatory sessions. Mixing business and pleasure is notoriously bad form, old boy.
Show threadP00ptartMar 11
Blood is the most effective lube. It’s 50/50 lube and friction. Let alone the mental aspect.
Show threadxxce2AAb3d ago
I’ve never understood what issue most guys have with menstruation. I presume it to be some sort of irrational inculcated aversion. Personally, I enjoy the consequence-free opportunity to come in my lady of choice. And, usually, so does she.
Show threadfubarxMar 10

Was pretty sure reading somewhere that masturbation was haram in Islam. Went looking. Most sites were pretty clear. Yup. Forbidden.

Except this one site (islamweb.net/…/masturbation-at-the-time-of-necess…) added a teeny, little loophole:

Masturbation is forbidden according to the view of the Hanbali School of jurisprudence. Whoever practices it deserves a punishment. It is permissible only at the time of necessity. Necessity means the time when one fears to commit Zina (adultery/fornication) or when one fears disease from the gathering of sperm and he is not able to get married.

You gotta pay attention to the fine-print.

Masturbation at the time of necessity

Explore the guidance on masturbation in Islam, specifically from the Hanbali perspective. It addresses the challenges faced by individuals who experience urges, especially when single. While masturbation is generally regarded as forbidden, its deemed permissible in times of necessity—primarily to avoid zina (adultery) or health concerns. The text emphasizes fasting as a recommended solution for those unable to marry, aligning with the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) regarding controlling desires. It also offers practical advice for maintaining piety and managing sexual urges, including avoiding forbidden activities, engaging in physical exercise, and surrounding oneself with righteous companions. Gain insights into how faith and discipline can help navigate these personal struggles within an Islamic framework.

Show threadBarneyPiccoloMar 10
So it’s forbidden, unless you’re really horny. Then it’s okay.