Cactuar JoeAND LEWIS COATES DID HIS DARNDEST! #Monsterdon
"oNE DAY FOOLISH AND ENVIOUS GODS--"
shown here in Caution Tape-o-vision #Monsterdon
THE BEAST OF TANAGRA!?!? #Monsterdon
Real Xena-level costume quality here. #Monsterdon
"I'd be willing to die"
Listen lady, *I'LL* make the jokes about the atrocious writing, thank you.
...You couldn't find footage of a bird flying at sunset? You had to do a seven-frame animation of one? #Monsterdon
"Oh Mothra, hear me..."
I WAS JOKING O_O
Yes, thank you, we saw the recap, can we move on? #Monsterdon
Hey, Zeus. New perm? Looks good. #Monsterdon
First thing back on earth, what's Herc do? Get in a scrap with a bear. #Monsterdon
...I take it back, it's not a bear, it's an alsatian fursona. #Monsterdon
Wait, it was the LIGHTNING BOLT's fursona? #Monsterdon
"I know that because I hold the lifesaver of prophecy" #Monsterdon
...So she hired Hegseth? #Monsterdon
Call me obtuse, but I suspect the glowing thing does not contain the secrets of *darkness* per se. #Monsterdon
Gnnnnnnnnnnhuuuuuurrrrrr this lucite is HEAVY #Monsterdon
Ha ha ha lady gave him the zip zop of death :D #Monsterdon
XD XD XD what IS this scene??? #Monsterdon
"UGH god it's in my EYE" #Monsterdon
So they went to all the trouble of getting themselves a badass mercenary to fight Herc, only to gut him like a chicken to bring THIS guy back to life? #Monsterdon
I dunno man, even the soundtrack seems bored by this sequel. #Monsterdon
We rented a pneumatic catapult and by god we're gonna use it. #Monsterdon
Look, the first Ator movie had better cinematography than this film. Do you understand how tragic that is? #Monsterdon
Herc, suddenly oiled up. #Monsterdon
"They look so real..."
They're... They're people in caked makeup. C'mon. #Monsterdon
"Fight them!"
Oh, Herc's a tactical master all right. #Monsterdon
Again, Lou's physique actually seems to cause him more problems than it's worth. That pointing back gesture he made? Stiff as FUCK. He'd be more convincing as powerful if he were LESS buff. #Monsterdon
Whoops, statue is having trouble standing still :P #Monsterdon
What a terribly proportioned Medusa :/ #Monsterdon
I'm not sure which is hokier, the dialogue or those FOAM MUSHROOMS. #Monsterdon
...Soundtrack budget ran out. #Monsterdon
The laughter wasn't in the script, that's the mad giggling of the director. #Monsterdon
Ha ha, Herc scampering around the tree :P #Monsterdon
Again, Lou's just big, he's terrible at *portraying* physicality. #Monsterdon
"We'll use this magic sword to prove science! ...Uh, I guess!" #Monsterdon
I don't mean to nitpick but that looks like a LARGE person, not a tiny one. #Monsterdon
They're sending her out for that jelly stuff stuntmen put on when they light themselves on fire. #Monsterdon
"...And that's it. Am... Am I still on? Is the cauldron still transmitting? Hello? You can turn this thing off now. Where's the End Call button?" #Monsterdon
Underwater pac man, okay #Monsterdon
Hhhgh. Everything in this movie is The Something OF Something, where Some Guy did Some Thing. #Monsterdon
I've played MMOs with better plots than this. Hell, I've played MMOs with fewer FETCH QUESTS than this fucking movie. #Monsterdon
"Now fuck off out of our sea." #Monsterdon
"Glouchester! Gout-ier! Global warming? What the hell was her name?" #Monsterdon
"It's a shield!"
Thanks, Eagle Eye. #Monsterdon
She's got a lot of dignity, huh. #Monsterdon
"It's GHASTLY!"
Actually I think it's Gengar. #Monsterdon
Herc needs the Flyswatter of Hephaestus #Monsterdon
That blank look. Yeah, me too lady. #Monsterdon
Minos just hangin' out in his own tomb. #Monsterdon
Everything in this movie is so anti-climactic. What should be serious twists just kinda land on-screen with a dull *thwap,* like a hunk of mud hitting plywood. #Monsterdon
Huh, potion of Xanadu. #Monsterdon
What does this have to do with ANYTHING? #Monsterdon
"There's something strange about this temple..."
You mean the visible chain link in the corner over there? #Monsterdon
*god* that was an awful entrance #Monsterdon
Oh no, Herc's one weakness! Nets! #Monsterdon
🤖Robot Enby Xero🤖@CactuarJoe VFX ooooohh look at our VFX budget oooh
@CactuarJoe hivemind!
@CactuarJoe Glaucoma? no wait #monsterdon
@CactuarJoe much could be said of most mythology :3 #monsterdon