SundrayWorkers who love ‘synergizing paradigms’ might be bad at their jobs
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jj4211I mean, it’s confirming what folks pretty much already knew and won’t make a dent in the cringe corporate culture… I guess it’s at least somewhat nice to see it more formally affirmed, but on the other hand it could be even more depressing that you were right all along and it doesn’t even matter…
Is there a scientific term for the branch of inquiry dedicated towards proving the obvious? Besides “science”.
No shit. Wait! That’s it! Cornell’s “noshitologists” have discovered what reasonable people already realized.
:D
My favorite example is that for thousands of years, people thought heavy stuff fell faster. And Galileo dropped two balls of similar size and different weight, and people went “da fuque?”
Common sense is just “I assume everyone assumes that…”
Science is probing the obvious. Proving the obvious, dunno if that’s called something in particular.
Love what?
The results of this study will undoubtedly produce a sea change in corporate culture while simultaneously creating opportunities for cross functional collaboration resulting from this paradigm shift. /s
🇸🇵🇪🇨🇺🇱🇦🇹🇪🇷Now I’m going to piggyback of this and open the cupboards on a few more details. When we approach a shift of this magnitude it’s important to fail fast and fail often. Tightening those decision loops will really embrace a lean model needed to get these kinds of shifts we’re after, think Wozniak, Gates, Musk here. Let’s put our best ideas into the meat grinder and make some fucking sausage!
Jesus H. I thought they probably skipped corporate shitspeak at those particular companies. That’s the cringiest mental pic of the night.
Ouch.
Mad respect for making me cringe so hard.
I was just going after names a dude bro management type would know. They’re so full of shit, lol. I like that they can’t tell when you’re mocking them though, they hear their language and accept it.
Makes sense to me… bullshitters LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE lingo… the people that really know their stuff are able to ELI6 most complex issues
Hell, a business strategy shouldn’t even be that complex. Complexity in it should stem from depth and details, not fancy words or difficult concepts
I think a lot of this kind of bullshit is more of an HR strategy rather than actual business strategy, but most of those are probably just as vapid.
My nemesis at my previous job was a major bullshitter and everyone knew it, except some management. Woe be to those who actually listened to him - it never ended well for them. Other managers knew better, or at least were warned.
Nice guy, but a complete moron professionally.
I recall one time he was telling a group of us about a test he and management wanted to do. “No changes to the software,” he said, repeatedly. Looking around the room, I knew no one believed him (well, he believed it, I’m sure, but no one else), but we all knew it was pointless to point out that he would be proven wrong. And he was, of course. (He wasn’t a liar, just an idiot.)
This dude would do everything he could to make me look bad, sometimes in front of external groups, other times in front of management. I never complained, but others complained to his supervisor on my behalf, and he’d apologize, then do it again a few months later. Again, it wasn’t malice, he’s just an idiot and doesn’t think.
One time I got him. He asked if we had planned for a workload that was higher than some people expected, and I was able to say, “Actually we budgeted for even more than this.” A woman that worked for me, when she saw I was having a bad day, would ask, “Hey remember when you showed up Bob in that meeting in front of management?” It always improved my mood. Some coworkers are gold.
One time, he was set to become my supervisor, and I was like, yeah, I’m gone if that happens. Fortunately, it didn’t.
I had a guy like this at a previous job. Same story with everything. The guy was a self-proclaimed master of weird languages that no one ever used.
He actually managed to become my supervisor. I immediately went to the big boss and told him I would quit if it happened. The boss confirmed that he would become my supervisor and it was a final decision.
I quit. What’s weird is that I was the only macOS/iPhone developer at the time in a mostly Windows company. They struggled for a few months after I left, and they closed the company.
That guy is now a manager at a fast food. I pity the employees who work with him.
RobotToasterTo analyse the impact of this study I recommend that we set up an interdepartmental committee with fairly broad terms of reference so that at the end of the day we’ll be in the position to think through the various implications and arrive at a decision based on long-term considerations rather than rush prematurely into precipitate and possibly ill-conceived action which might well have unforeseen repercussions.
Your connection from preposition to results is too tangible, vague it up a bit
If you need anyone to operationalize our assets for a best-in-brand technology assessment, feel free to drop me a bilateral session to set up preliminaries!
WildmimicI only know what synergy means from Balatro
One of my last jobs I started entry-level clerical work but I noticed everyone in the office was talking like this, so I started in on it, I would take advantage of meetings and group projects to just spout utter bullshit like “We really have to circle our wagons and take some of this conversation offline so we can maximize the returns from our diversity” and holy shit did it have an impact. I was promoted before my first year was up, I was invited to more and more meetings, I was treated like a manager before I was even given the role. I was eventually laid off when the company was bought out by private equity but not before climbing to higher management.
I did the same. Worked as an IT Problem Manager for one of the worlds largest oil companies for 6 years. Got tired of the bullshit, now I work as a developer in a small company. Pay is way less, but man, an I happier now than 10 years ago!
Yah shit, I was making salary for the first time in my life and my entire job consisted of acting engaged at pointless meetings.
I make half as much now, but I also hate this work too so there’s that. I keep thinking about picking up some better coding skillsets but then I see yet another workplace gutted by AI and wonder how much time I have as a white-collar worker at all. Might have to go back to painting figures for money.
Someone will have to fix and maintain the tidal wave of slop being generated right now. Programming will remain an incredibly valuable skill and hiring will pick back up when this LLM mania ends.
I look forward to future full-slop/devslOps engineer job listings
Problem as evidenced by a lot of outsourcing success is that the people cutting the checks are not fazed by broken software.
This applies to a lot of industries where laypeople are at the mercy of ‘expertise’, a lot of folks doing things like HVAC or auto mechanics are actually not that good, and while they are the bane of the good HVAC and mechanics, they manage to secure market share just fine. Yes, there are mechanics that have crappier mechanics to thank for them having some stuff to fix, but the crappy mechanics can do easy stuff fine and lots of people driving with something busted because the mechanic couldn’t figure it out and told the customer “yeah, it actually is normal for it to be that way”.
WesDymI wanna do that. How did you go from.IT to developer. I did Linux IT and aero engineering. Some MATLAB and C back in the day. Is it hard to switch?
Honestly, I had no programming experience. I told my wife I’m tired and need a change. Signed up for 100Devs, an intensive course, especially watching it live in the middle of night twice a week while maintaining a full-time job, but if you ask me, it paid off in the end! But man, it was a fucking hard 9 months.
MagnificentSteiner“We really have to circle our wagons and take some of this conversation offline so we can maximize the returns from our diversity”
Oh man, you missed an opportunity there… you could have put “Going forward” in front of it!
phoenixariseI’m sorry, but “synergizing” and “paradigm”, aren’t these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I’m accusing them of anything like that—
I’m fired, aren’t I?
lolola
I Cast FistI’m fired, aren’t I?
Now now, we don’t use that kind of language here, this is a family company, because our bonds create greater amplification of the synergies between the aligned areas. HR Family Relations will have a constructive discussion about your behavior paradigm within the family
Oh yes. The rest of you, get to work on thinking of a name. Like Poochie, but not proactive.
Paradigm by itself is useful in computer science. A lot of corpo speak comes from terms initially created for agile, but eventually scrum masters were not the engineers and the useful words that were used a describers are now used as content. Agile is a mistake.
Golden.
Essentially, the employees most excited and inspired by “visionary” corporate jargon may be the least equipped to make effective, practical business decisions for their companies.
“This creates a concerning cycle,” Littrell said. “Employees who are more likely to fall for corporate bullshit may help elevate the types of dysfunctional leaders who are more likely to use it, creating a sort of negative feedback loop. Rather than a ‘rising tide lifting all boats,’ a higher level of corporate BS in an organization acts more like a clogged toilet of inefficiency.”
grissino
ideaPDishThe purpose of a system is what it does.
If an organization rewards empty bluster and ChatGPT-driven corporate drivel, then that it is because those things are the organization’s purpose.
Corporate lingo is a social filter for humanoid shitweasels to identify their peers and control eventual threats.
Nothing is more menacing to an incompetent manager than an underling speaking the truth. Thankfully corporate lingo allows underlings to be dismissed out of hand because either:
- they didn’t use the correct lingo (“Steve fired the only guy who knew how that machine worked and ain’t nobody got time to figure it out because every other machine is falling apart as we speak” -> you get muted on teams and a meeting is booked with HR)
- they did use the the correct lingo which is - entirely by design! - devoid of negative turns of phrase (“our rightsizing efforts mean that other team members will have to step up and synergize”).
Corpospeak serves an important purpose though. It’s how they identify the correct people to fail upwards.
Yeah no shit the guy who wants my team to do his job by making it sound like effective teamwork is shit. But when I call it out HR says I’m not being a team player (which is funny cause me and my team pick up a lot of slack without ever getting help in return even when it costs them effectively nothing.)
In all my years, I’ve never see the goat of any particular job or specialty give a damn how someone else is helping them. But if they aren’t completely selfish they might choose the harder method to accomplish their tasks if it means less work for their teammates, rather than insisting others do more work to make it easier for themselves.
It’s almost like the ability to confidently blather insane buzz words has no connection to the ability to do any work whatsoever.
RQGIn my experience people who use a lot of corporate buzzwords do it to obfuscate their own incompetence.
Try asking those people to explain their buzzwords in more detail or give an example. It’ll become clear if they even know what they are saying.
My most-hated blather expression is “going forward”, as in “we’re going to do a better job going forward”. Just completely unnecessary when used with verbs in future tense – which is the only time it’s ever used. I hate it almost as much as “folks”.
I agree with you on the “going forward” part. It sounds inane. “Folks” on the other hand I disagree with for two reasons. One, where I live, it’s a pretty standard term, as in “hey there folks” as well as a synonym for “parents” depending on context.
The other, I’ve started using it as a gender neutral in place of things like “ladies and gentlemen.” People who get mad about using peoples’ correct pronouns, aka conservative assholes, are completely blind to it being for that purpose. While it’s not something that matters very often for me, it’s useful and therefore just an easy habit to adopt that’s harmless in all contexts.
My main beef with “folks” is when politicians use it instead of “people” to give off a fake down-homey vibe.