Nate BedorthaMar 4
gloriouscow
There's an alternate timeline where the CueCat was hugely successful and we all carry them around daily, and there is a vibrant ecosystem of custom CueCat holsters for sale as quick and convenient CueCat access is essential to the modern lifestyle.
Mar 3 at 3:00amWeb
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

In this alternate reality, it is common to tattoo a barcode in an inconspicuous spot - if a chance social encounter resulted in the spark of mutual interest, your new acquaintance might permit you to scan her.

"I met this cute girl at the library and got her bars!" you might exclaim to your roommate later, who may be annoyed that you are disturbing them while they are performing the delicate task of daily CueCat maintenance.

A barcode tattoo typically holds just enough information to encode a link to one's CatBook profile. Armed with such information, you could send a private message to your potential suitor - assuming your CatCoin balance was topped up.

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

oh man, install Ruffle if you need to https://ruffle.rs/ and check out some of the awesome flash animations on the CueCat install CD.

https://ia601702.us.archive.org/view_archive.php?archive=/7/items/crq10/crq10.iso

Fake british(?) accent?
Gross mouth noises into the microphone? Check and check!

Somehow coding a full flash progress bar was difficult, so there are individual flash animations for each section of progress

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

i missed out on the other aspect of this software, apparently it would just open the mic on your PC and your TV could play a special bloop sound that would send a URL to your browser from a playing commercial.

that doesn't sound fraught with inevitable security vulnerabilities or anything

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
can you attach wavs?
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
https://youtu.be/JTuq7AG8nho?t=551
CueCat installation Video

YouTube
Show threadKestralMar 3
@gloriouscow “if the code was read successfully the cat will make a sound” and to think we picked QR codes over this… how cool life would have been.
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@kestral if that sound wasn't 'meow.wav' they really missed a golden opportunity
Show threadKestralMar 3
@gloriouscow I need one CueCat, one 3D scanner, and one hour. We can use our army of 3D printers to bring about this golden age and erase the harms of the past two decades.
Show threadRetrofan 64Mar 3
@gloriouscow It's what Scotty would have wanted.
Show threadPurpleJillybeans Mar 3
@gloriouscow Everything DigitalConvergence did was the epitome of dot-com-era mania.
Show threadCraig K6KHMar 3
@gloriouscow mine is still in the box…waiting, just waiting
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@kd6nfd aww look it had a fursona
Show threadCraig K6KHMar 3
@gloriouscow way ahead of its time too
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@kd6nfd withholding comment lest i reveal too much about myself and my online activities circa 2000
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@kd6nfd the product design is really excellent. it really screams "easily confused for some sort of weird sex thing"
Show threadCraig K6KHMar 3
@gloriouscow just noticed the cat holding a can of “cola”. Wiki says Coke was an investor. Marketing said no way you are putting our logo on that thing.
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@kd6nfd i was looking for a scan of that booklet. i desperately hope for an artist credit
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@kd6nfd thank you, AI overview
Show threadWilliam D. JonesMar 3
@gloriouscow I mean, that sounds much better than the current timeline :D.
Show threadCANELA BLANCAMar 3
@gloriouscow There was a lot of stuff about CueCat in 2600 about 10 or so years ago. Perhaps more.
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

@christopherbrown I heard they had 2 million of them in a warehouse when they went out of business.

Might as well just have backed dumpsters up to the end of the assembly line

Show threadfraggleMar 3
@gloriouscow alternate universe where, instead of the mobile phone, the cuecat became the device that we all carry around in our pockets every day. Over years it absorbed the features of the mobile phone, pocket calculator, GPS, PDAs, flashlights and other small electronic devices. Scanning barcodes is still one of its main uses of course but nowadays is only one of the built-in apps on the latest Cuecat 15 Pro Max. For millions, staring at their cuecat's tummy has become a daily ritual as they scroll through endless news articles, social media posts and short form videos
Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

@fraggle Lacking a traditional screen as we might be accustomed to, a CueCat user instead peers into the aperture at the cat's snout. (Made of a single, sapphire crystal on the CueCat Pro Max)

Closing one eye, the impression of a 80" display hovering in darkness is apparent, with crystal clarity.

Don't worry, a proximity sensor prevents firing the CutCat's half-watt scanning laser into your retina - a safety feature that boasts nearly perfect reliability assuming favorable humidity levels.

Show threadRob RicciMar 3
@gloriouscow I still have mine, know where it is, and have used it in the last 2-ish years
Show threadARGVMI~1.PIFMar 3

@gloriouscow

In our timeline, the smartphone is the new CueCat. Modern phones have high-resolution cameras with which to image barcodes and fast CPUs with which to parse them.

I have a barcode scanning app on my phone (named, creatively enough, Barcode Scanner https://f-droid.org/packages/com.atharok.barcodescanner) that can read a wide variety of barcodes using the camera and the zxing library. https://github.com/zxing/zxing

Barcode Scanner | F-Droid - Free and Open Source Android App Repository

An open-source app that allows you to read and generate barcodes.

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

@argv_minus_one Yeah, I have barcode scanner installed.

ironically I actually do own a USB barcode scanner. They're handy for cataloguing books and CDs and stuff. They're cheap and just act like a keyboard so you scan stuff directly into a spreadsheet, no need for drivers or special software.

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3
@argv_minus_one You know, now I'm pondering the practicality of using a sheet of custom-made barcodes taped to the side of my monitor as a sort of paper-based Streamdeck
Show threadARGVMI~1.PIFMar 3

@gloriouscow

I've seen retail cashier stations with that. When someone wants to buy a commonly-bought but heavy product, the cashier instead scans one of the barcodes printed on a handy sheet of paper.

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

@argv_minus_one oh yeah, but I'm just in it for the pointless physicality of scanning a barcode to enter a password.

You know I bet someone has beat Dark Souls with a barcode scanner.

Show threadRusty ShacklefordMar 3

@gloriouscow @SnoopJ

I STILL HAVE THIS WTF

Show threadgloriouscowMar 3

@rusty__shackleford @SnoopJ

well quick, fucking scan something!!!

Show threadRusty ShacklefordMar 3

@gloriouscow @SnoopJ

I have shaken a tree and will hear back tomorrow, this is amusing

Show threadKestralMar 3
@gloriouscow I don’t know what it is but I want twelve of them.
Show threadArakinMar 3
@gloriouscow darn, I remember wanting to pick one up at the time as it would be a convenient barcode scanner I'm sure I'd have a use for 😅
Show threadpatterMar 3
@gloriouscow I enjoy that they committed to the name enough to make it cat shaped
Show threadMad EngineeringMar 3

@gloriouscow Cuecat was horribly enshittified from the beginning. It was hobbled to only work with their weird proprietary barcodes, it insisted on running everything through their data scraping.server (which is how they planned to finance all these free devices), and they responded to people trying to "declaw" this with lawsuits.

Juicero's bullshit all over again.

Show threadJon SchwennMar 3
@gloriouscow an internet communicator. A phone. A cue cat…. Get it? It’s now three things, it’s one.
Show threadunsponsorMar 3
@gloriouscow don't forget to de-claw