Grey
Sean C.@autistics #ActuallyAutistic not sure who needs to hear this, but likely preaching to this choir…
Analog AI@filmfreak75 @autistics ... also, when I repeat what you said, I'm not making fun. I'm just wired that way.
Morgan ⚧️@Retreival9096 @filmfreak75 @autistics me too! communication classes praise this and call it "active listening," but then we do it in real life and suddenly it's a problem 🙃
@raphaelmorgan active listening is only for those in charge, everyone else is just being confrontational
@raphaelmorgan @filmfreak75 @autistics I think (good) active listening requires rephrasing, to demonstrate comprehension.
Sometimes I do that, mostly I just parrot.
One case where I use it is in greetings:
You: Hello, how's it going?
Me: How's it going?
or
You: Happy Birthday!
Me: Happy Birthday! ... I mean, thanks!
Energetic Nova@Retreival9096 @raphaelmorgan @filmfreak75 @autistics
I was wondering where the heck I learned the rephrasing from because everyone hates it. But I also know I was told to make inferences when I read and figured it was just that… its always hated when I do it. Even by other autistic people.
@Retreival9096 @raphaelmorgan @filmfreak75 @autistics
It prob takes talent to even have a communication style other autistic people also dislike…
@Energetic_Nova the rephrasing is part of active listening and common in therapy
but when there is a baseline assumption about how we comminicate, almost doesn’t matter how many of the “rules” we follow,
we’re always perceived of as wrong
@filmfreak75 @Retreival9096 @raphaelmorgan @autistics
Therapy has given me so many useless tools that piss people off…
@Energetic_Nova after a bit my therapist gave up on the social rules when he realized it’s not a me thing and that i am literally surrounded by a lot of problematic people
@filmfreak75 @Retreival9096 @raphaelmorgan @autistics
My current therapist is adhd and never forced them on me but previous ones did. Current therapist is also jewish atheist so it helps a lot since we are both “never Christians”.
@Energetic_Nova my therapist is younger so doesn’t;t have a lot of the bad habits of the older therapists i tried
@filmfreak75 @Retreival9096 @raphaelmorgan @autistics
Mine is older but he was a new therapist… he took a long time to get through school.
@Energetic_Nova same end then -- avoided the dark times in training
@filmfreak75 @Retreival9096 @raphaelmorgan @autistics
I was his first patient. So its a nice feeling.
@Energetic_Nova mine did fellowship work in autism at the university i work at and when my accommodation request was being slow walked, it was an interesting stance to take to imply their education was not sufficient to validate the request
@Retreival9096 @filmfreak75 @autistics
When I repeat using different words, usually I am trying to clarify meaning…. And it can come off hostile.
@Energetic_Nova @filmfreak75 @autistics
i have been fortunate that my partner understands active listening -- the only issue for them is my parroting, which seems automatic to me. (I suspect it's a coping mechanism I learned, so in theory I could learn something else ... but I don't have the energy for that right now).
I'm extremely introverted, and am retired (or otherwise unemployed) for about 2 years; so I don't do a lot of social interacting -- so "Happy Birthday" is one of the major social mistakes I make these days (that I'm aware of).
Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama@filmfreak75 @autistics
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As a human being I need this, my Autism has nothing to do with your paranoid inability to communicate 😠💜
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As a human being I need this, my Autism has nothing to do with your paranoid inability to communicate 😠💜
Dremmwel ar Vran Ruz@filmfreak75
When I tell my NT chief "I'm afraid I don't understand what you want me to do"
And my chief hears "I don't want to do that shit and I'm challenging your authority through sarcasm"
@dremmwel asking for clarification being interpreted as insubordination is all too common