Step 4: Actually put winter wheels and tires on winter beater.
Complain again that anyone who *likes* steelies when easier-to-grab wheels exist ain't right in the head.
Step 5: Rearrange items in garage, then ram a Ram in that hole.
(Also, remember that you still need to unpack the boxes in the garage.)
Step 8: Test drive winter beater (read: find coffee you don't have to make) to see if it still makes a disconcerting grindy noise when accelerating.
(It does, but not that?? much??? Getting buried in a snowdrift helps!)
Fun fact: The test drive was to make sure I could get to the dentist tomorrow if the Ram on all-seasons (that belongs to my employer!) seemed like a bad idea.
I got a text from my dentist when I stopped at the first coffee joint I tried (which closed early) saying they were cancelling said appointment for the blizzard. WELP!