Pommes_für_dein_Balg

Saved you a click: a 1911

https://feddit.org/post/26178723

Feb 22 at 3:58pmWeb
Show threadwe are allFeb 22

would have thought he’d have preferred

…a nail gun.

Show threadtjsauceFeb 22
Love that answer, stealing it!
Show threadGreenKnight23Feb 22
Show threadEnsign_CrabFeb 22
That’s the gun of a carpenter.
Show threadEldritchFemininityFeb 23
You beat me to it. I saw a post probably almost 20 years ago by a kid on Facebook talking about how he got banned from a Young Republicans Facebook group for giving this answer. His reasoning was: it’s a carpenter’s tool, not a weapon, and used to help people and improve the community. Kid actually read the Bible and got hate for it.
Show threadFedizenFeb 23
You can’t actually read the bible and be an honest republican. Poor kid, he needs to get better at predicting what his superiors want him to say if he wants to get anywhere in the republican party.
Show threadU7826391786239Feb 22

jesus was jewish, so

Show threadCalfpupa [she/her]Feb 22
What is this?
Show threadU7826391786239Feb 22
a jewish gun
Show threadCalfpupa [she/her]Feb 22
Yes it’s an Isreali gun, but I was asking what the model was. It’s an IWI Tavor.
Show threadAkasazhFeb 22
I’d have said Desert Eagle. He did some time in the desert and he died doing a spread eagle (at least half)
Show threadashenoneFeb 22
Jesus would either rock a Styer AUG or a FN P90 because they are objectively the coolest guns
Show threadPsionicsicknessFeb 22
I wanted to have a differing opinion, but then you said objectively, and I realized you used it right. Damn it.
Show threadashenoneFeb 22
I mean maybe Jesus has different criteria for firearm selection than objective coolness
Show threadPsionicsicknessFeb 22
Look. If he’s God incarnate, then he would know what’s up. They all shoot bullets, right?
Show threadashenoneFeb 22
He also had some things to say about the rich so maybe he prefers a Kalashnikov
Show threadPsionicsicknessFeb 22

Humble but demonstrably reliable? Maybe.

But when I look at the aug? Divinity.

Show threadzebidiahFeb 22
I was thinking a Taurus Judge…
Show threadMiles O'BrienFeb 22

FN P90 because they are objectively the coolest guns

Show threadJo MiranFeb 22
A Sig? Jesus would need to pray to himself that the gun doesn’t go off and shoot his holy dick off.
Show threadCalfpupa [she/her]Feb 22
Ask him how he got those holes in his hands…
Show threadOstrakonFeb 23
Really only the p320, 1911s are probably the safest carry gun out there
Show threadAdulated_AspersionFeb 23
And what is your criteria for “safe”?
Show threadOstrakonFeb 23
For any gun, specifically, mechanisms to ensure that the gun only fires if i intend it to. A 1911 has a manual thumb safety and a grip safety and is incredibly drop safe to boot. A p320 has been demonstrated repeatedly to not be drop safe.
Show threadSkyezOpenFeb 23

Nah it’s totally safe and will never go off without a trigger pull. Also because sig is such a good company, they’re doing free voluntary trigger assembly upgrades for the p320. Totally unrelated to anything else allegedly happening.

It’s incredible what a fucking joke sig has become.

Show threadAdulated_AspersionFeb 25
There is no trigger block bar on a 1911. They are not drop safe.
Show threadAngryCommieKenderFeb 22
Dual wielding .50 cal 7-shot revolvers. The only handguns that make a Desert Eagle look small.
Show threadouRKaoSFeb 23
I think I broke my wrist reading that
Show threadAngryCommieKenderFeb 25
Well then you’re absorbing the recoil wrong. Use your shoulders and forearms to resist the recoil, not your wrist.
Show threadbtsaxFeb 22
In Luke, Jesus tells his followers to sell off some of their clothes to buy weapons so this is not totally out of the realm of possibility
Show threadNasanFeb 22
Self proclaimed fans of Jesus portraying him as a fan of one of the least faithful 1911s is quite on brand.
Show threadCptEnderFeb 23
Hey a carpenter knows you can’t beat simple reliability.
Show threadrapcheeFeb 23
wouldn’t he carry a revolver then? semiautomatics are relatively complicated
tbf i only know guns from games and movies
Show threadJayDeeFeb 23
I think Jesus would carry a Hi-Point C-9, because it’d be all he could afford in this economy.
Show threadvaneFeb 23

According to a gun video in “And the Wiener is…”, Moses and Jesus used guns to team up and defeat the Romans.

familyguy.fandom.com/wiki/Moses

Show threadzalgotextFeb 23

Dawg, Jesus’s weapon of choice is literally in the Bible, Matthew 10:34:

I have not come to bring (a) peace(maker) but a sword

Dude’s immortal, he’s not afraid to get up close and personal with it

Show threadOBJECTION!Feb 23

1911

Actually, he’d carry a 0.

Show threadDarkFutureFeb 23
That’s what I always assumed. What else would Jesus use to murder immigrants and U.S. citizens?
Show threadShaggySnacksFeb 23
The 1911, good enough to be used 40,000 years in the future. Good enough for Jesus.
Show threadFedizenFeb 23
Jesus would obviously use an an AK47.