A lot to reflect on after watching 4th Man Out last night. Loved the characters, but the story is very much what happens to a mostly straight friend group when one of them comes out. Less main character energy, more ensemble. Adam's circle was close, longstanding, and very present for him.That part felt unrelatable. I came out at 51 without a close in-person guy friend group.
(Stop here if you don't want any spoilers.)
(1/3)
I did relate a little to Adam. Although I was not "straight passing" like him, I moved through life quietly enough that I don't think spend much time thinking about it or made silent assumptions. When I did come out, the reactions ranged from shocked to "honestly I just figured..."
I've also come to think I'm likely high masking autistic. And I wonder how much of that small quiet footprint...
(2/3)
...was masking in ways I didn't recognize at the time. Adam's experience rhymed but was very different in having a close crew of friends that were bumbling along with him in his first baby gay steps. I did have friends who cared and listened but not in that hands-on way Adam did. I don't know how common that is or isn't really.
I don't think I've said anything that completely spoils the film which is already a decade old now but you might appreciate it, too.
(3/3)
Mark Tisdale Art 🏳️🌈