✧✦Catherine✦✧

studying for uk residency

this paragraph is all it says about the american war of independence

Feb 15 at 9:54pmWeb
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
snubbing americans is funny so i'll allow it
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
hm.
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
lmfao
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
this... document... is gravely insulting to at least tens of millions of people
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
does anyone say 'the Blitz spirit'
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15

became how

became independent how, motherfucker

Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
"most" paramilitary groups in NI are inactive
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
hm.
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
i am so going to fail this test by knowing some actual history instead of propaganda at some point...
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16

"A referendum was called"

BY WHOM. WHO CALLED IT

THIS IS IN MY ACTUAL MEMORY. I WATCHED IT LIVE

Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
i can't read this any more i have to go do something less aggravating
Show threadGina Peter BanyardFeb 16
@whitequark yeah GL with that my Hungarian gf did it last year. It's definitely weird. She acquired a "copy" that was referring to the King as: "her majesty King Charles" which shows the level of care that went into the contents
Show threadZ̈oéFeb 16
@Girgias @whitequark TIL! 🏳️‍⚧️👑
Show threadDavid Chisnall (*Now with 50% more sarcasm!*)Feb 16

@whitequark

History, as taught in British schools, is interesting mostly for the fact that absolutely nothing happened between beating the French in 1815 and the start of the First World War. The Empire was a happy prosperous place with no down sides for anyone involved and Germany was just jealous of how awesome it was.

There are some especially weird things. For example, we learn about the Charge of the Light Brigade poem in English classes, but never learn anything at all about the war in which it happens in history classes.

A phenomenal amount of time is spent on the Tudors and Stewarts and almost none on the surrounding context.

Show threadMiniFeb 16
@whitequark this reminds me of the wierd "british values" clause stuff they brought in to education at some point
Show threadSnoopJFeb 16
@whitequark it's easy the answer is always "drink from the puddle, remember when the binmen were hard"
Show threadSnoopJFeb 16
@whitequark (n.b. I know it is not easy, I hyperbolize in attempt of humor)
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
@SnoopJ i took some online tests with zero prep and had about 50/50 chance, i've considered just booking it three times since there's only a 7 day cooloff period for a failure
Show threadSnoopJFeb 16
@whitequark getting a good grade in bri'ish, a thing that is both possible to achieve and normal to want
Show threadSnoopJFeb 16
@whitequark 7 days isn't bad at all though, so at least there's that
Show threadPxl PhileFeb 16

@SnoopJ @whitequark this comment sent me to a Rabbit hole because I had no clue of the "binmen" idiom.

Arriving at https://stephenjones.blog/2022/12/03/binmenism/ I find it in a negative way fantastic how toxic nostalgia can impress people.... 😮

Binmenism

A recent Long Read by Dan Hancox in the Guardian gets to the heart of our distinctive British malaise of nostalgia, trumpeted on the Memory Lane UK Facebook page. At the heart of this phenomenon ar…

Stephen Jones: a blog
Show threadSnoopJFeb 16
@ppxl it's a favored refrain of the podcast Trashfuture when ridiculing that toxic nostalgia (often in close proximity to dropping the term "hauntology", which also describes the hangover of empire quite well)
Show threadTobiasFeb 16
@whitequark This is somewhat infuriating, and I'm not even remotely involved…
Show threadNina KalininaFeb 16
@whitequark it's pay to win, you're allowed to have as many attempts as you need to pass.
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
@nina_kali_nina yep and i fully intend to use that
Show threadNina KalininaFeb 16
@whitequark good luck! The actual test used to be a fair bit easier than the textbook, with many answers having obvious (but still incorrect) answers. Like, IIRC there was "what kind of bird humans traditionally eat on Christmas in the UK?" with "Turkey" as the expected answer ;/
Show threadHugo MillsFeb 16
@nina_kali_nina @whitequark "Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat".
Show threadCassandra is only carbon nowFeb 16
@whitequark What do I know about the life of Roald Dahl? More than I'd like to, thank you very much.
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
@xgranade do tell, this will be on the test i think
Show threadCassandra is only carbon nowFeb 16
@whitequark That he's a terrible antisemite, mostly.
Show threadPxl PhileFeb 16

@xgranade @whitequark oof TIL I guess.

I think I need to compile a script of people I have any sort of opinion and let it run against automated web searches like:

"Is x fascist/antisemite/anti trans/XYZZY?" 😡

Show threadF4GRX SébastienFeb 16
@xgranade @whitequark oh no fuck
Show threadNoisytootFeb 17
@whitequark @xgranade he was apparently an antisemite, but that probably won't be on the test
Show threadkouhai, of the health issuesFeb 15
@whitequark i wonder if anything embarrassing happened in the falklands
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
@kouhai i thought it was embarrassing for argentina?
Show threadtefFeb 16
@whitequark @kouhai see: sinking of the belgrano and "gotcha!"
Show threadkouhai, of the health issuesFeb 16
@whitequark yeah but thatcher’s government had to have done *something* wrong
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
@kouhai as far as i know it basically saved her premiership (is that a word) and propelled her to popularity, against all odds at the time
Show threadA Smol BearFeb 16
@kouhai @whitequark Thatcher's military cuts convinced the Argentinian government that Britain wouldn't have the forces left to re-take the islands.
Show threadHugo MillsFeb 16

@whitequark "Shipbuilding and coal mining declined"

Exactly *how* did that decline happen?

Show threadazulFeb 15
@whitequark "The structure of DNA" 
Show threadFionaFeb 15
@whitequark Turing machine? They don't mention what happened to the guy it's named after, do they?
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
@airtower ofc no
Show threadThepiFeb 15
@whitequark Do not ask such questions. It more important that you know that a Conservative™ government was in power during the great Number Go Up period of 70 years ago.
Show threadSnoopJFeb 15

@whitequark so orderly, the most orderly

No troubles, as it were

Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
@SnoopJ it does mention those
Show threadSnoopJFeb 15
@whitequark lmao fuck that
Show threadAdvanced Persistent TeapotFeb 16

@whitequark @SnoopJ wait does this booklet say anything positive about any of the labour governments? It's starting to sound like a Tory fluff piece.

... which would make complete sense actually.

Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 16
@http_error_418 @SnoopJ not really no
Show threadmasukomiFeb 15

@whitequark I mean… it's technically true. The fact that they starved because the British refused to give them any food, or that those actions lead ultimately to the creation of the IRA… surely those things aren't important.

🤦‍♀️

Show threadAdvanced Persistent TeapotFeb 15
@whitequark can't wait to see what it says about the Indian independence movement
Show threadCassandra is only carbon nowFeb 15
@whitequark It's about as inaccurate as the descriptions we have over here...
Show threadWilliam D. JonesFeb 15
@xgranade @whitequark My US History textbook was "kind" enough to mention that Jefferson was a slaveowning rapist. Of course, it didn't use that term and really wanted ppl not to pay attention to that "fun fact".
Show thread✧✦Catherine✦✧Feb 15
@xgranade oh
Show threadiximeowFeb 15
@whitequark lmao
Show threadArch Feb 15

@whitequark Some of the stuff in the study guide is honestly hilarious.

My friends and I took to calling it the propaganda test.

Show threadAdvanced Persistent TeapotFeb 16

@arch @whitequark it literally is

Also nobody who was born here would pass this stupid test. I recall a government minister being in the news because a reporter asked them questions from it and the *minister* got them wrong.