tiddy roosevelt

Usually when people ask what it is I do for work I usually say that I work in network administration and security policy or something that's similarly likely to have no one ever desiring to ask questions about it.

Today someone did actually start asking questions. Beautifully the look of regret sweeping across their face within mere moments has me satisfied they'll never ask about work again.

Nailed it.

Feb 4 at 8:51pmWeb
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
Unfortunately 'I post my boobs on the internet, sometimes also my ass' does not get a particularly great reaction from a lot of people
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
One day I am going to meet someone who actually passionately wants to talk about shit like data retention like some kind of uno reverse
Show threadPalmAndNeedleFeb 4
@babe betcha they'll be jazzed about your boobs and ass side gig as well
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
@PalmAndNeedle The real heroes we need
Show threadPalmAndNeedleFeb 4
@babe 
Show threadLappenjammerFeb 4

@PalmAndNeedle @babe

Then you tell them about you posting old keyboards and they are hooked for life.

Show threadMy name is GordoFeb 4
@babe Just talk about it anyway and hope they're already so enamored with you that they brush it off as an acceptable character flaw. My s/o is a perfect rubber ducky, because she's really good at still looking interested minutes after her eyes have glazed over and she's mentally gone to her happy quiet place ☺️
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
@gordoooo_z My husband is like that. He'll be listening to everything I say and absorbing all of it but he'll just keep listening and listening without his expression ever changing, even when I've gone on some wild tangent for an hour
Show threadMy name is GordoFeb 4
@babe That's a good egg.
Show threadGlenn SetoFeb 4
@babe @gordoooo_z He knows he's one of your special interests, so why wouldn't he appreciate that passion?
Show threadSimFeb 5
@babe I saw data retention so I'll throw out a PSA - SSD drives are not meant to be archival storage!
Show threadRoy BranderFeb 6

@babe

https://www.cuug.ab.ca/
We meet 4th Tuesdays. Zoom is available.

Calgary UNIX Users Group - Home Page

Show threadIan BetteridgeFeb 4
@babe Those people are wrong.
Show threadMr Takes 🧄Feb 4
@babe Which sucks, because boobs and ass are some of the greatest things about the internet, and life in general!
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
@bean Wise words, bean!
Show threadChinga la migra! 🍉🌈Feb 4

@babe yeah dorks and queefs hate boobs and butts. I would lead with that. If they are put off, good. If they respond "cool, what else do you do?" then you know that is someone worth talking to.

When someone leads with what they do for a living I always answer "cool, what else do you do?" because if you job is your personality I want nothing to do with you.

Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
@fiend_unpleasant If I want an occupy any kind of space and be treated kindly and with dignity it isn't the way to go, though. It also presents a safety risk
Show threadDaniel LakelandFeb 4

@babe @fiend_unpleasant

Yeah, this feels very right. And I'm sorry about that. But I think you're right to not lead with online sex related work. I figure just tell them about the lawyering you do though (I still have no idea whether you're just joking about being a lawyer or you actually are one, I'm not sure I want to know either)

Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4

@dlakelan @fiend_unpleasant I have been paid for my legal advice so I can confidently (and legally) state that I am a lawyer. It is technically correct. The most important kind of correct.

The legal advice was 'be gay, do crime'.

But yeah, safety is the main issue. Sex workers are dehumanised across the board and the increased risk of violence isn't lost on me, so few people know about it.

Show threadChinga la migra! 🍉🌈Feb 4
@babe @dlakelan OH SHIT i didn't know that counted... I'm whacking esquire to the end of my already long list of horseshit I give to people when we are introduced. I am the Reverend Lord $governmentName, esq. (I became a Reverend online and own one square foot of land in Scotland)
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4

@fiend_unpleasant @dlakelan In England and Wales, 'Lawyer' is not a protected term.

You can practice law (if you stay away from certain things) and call yourself a lawyer, with no qualifications. You can practice something else and call yourself a lawyer. We're all lawyers if we want to be.

My friend still regrets informing me of this.

Show threadChinga la migra! 🍉🌈Feb 4
@babe @dlakelan ahhh I better not do that here in the land of the free... pedophiles running the government.
Show threadFiXatoFeb 5
@babe IIRC solicitor and barrister are the two protected (and distinctly different) titles over there, right?
@fiend_unpleasant @dlakelan
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 5
@FiXato @fiend_unpleasant @dlakelan Yep!
Show threadChinga la migra! 🍉🌈Feb 4
@babe yeah, I didn't think about that. Not everyone is smart enough to realize we are all whores (said with absolute respect). Some of us show our assholes and some of us working "respectable jobs" (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean) either way we are all selling ourselves for money.
Show threadSid 🇵🇸Feb 4
@babe and it's downright neighborly of you
Show threadPhineasFeb 4
@babe a lot of people do not know what is good in life
Show threadAnnika BackstromFeb 4
@babe only because they haven't seen that shower ass gif
Show threadGlenn SetoFeb 4
@babe Look, birds and donkeys aren't for everyone. No accounting for taste and all that.
Show threadChris AbbeyFeb 5
@babe just means you would fit right in on Bluesky. (At least per a serious portion of my feed which seems to include the center of the Venn diagram between: techie nerd and rampant exhibitionist…. The Techno-lust crowd I sometimes think of calling them.)
Show threadBryan Redeagle Feb 9
@babe If any of the network engineers I've had to work with are any indication, exposing yourself on the internet is still an apt description.
Show threadAaron WilliamsonFeb 4
@babe ok, I'm really curious now what you said to put them off the conversation.
Show threadMartin, Regulus TithoniumFeb 4
@copiesofcopies @babe me too.
Show threadtiddy rooseveltFeb 4
@tithonium @copiesofcopies I'm good at switching into insufferable nerd mode. I think it's less the actual content of my words and more that I seemed very excited to talk about security policies
Show threadMartin, Regulus TithoniumFeb 4
@babe @copiesofcopies [giggles madly imagining]
Show threadHeathen 🐈Feb 4
@tithonium @copiesofcopies @babe
Sadly, I'm the kind of person who says "tell me more" whenever people talk excitedly about a topic. You can't get rid of me by boring me, but you can take control of the conversation by switching to anything you're really passionate about 😁
Show threadTom MagnanimousFeb 4
@babe @tithonium @copiesofcopies I hope you at least gave them the link to your infosec blog
Show threadCjutyFeb 4
@babe don't you ever happen to meet the horny infosec crowd? These crowds are kinda linked in my mind.
Show threadInterpipes 💙Feb 4
@babe "Computer things which apparently only I can get very excited about" is my "please don't mug yourself and ask follow up questions" version of this
Show threadEarthshineFeb 4
@babe You could tell them you're an EMT and if they ask more questions just give them the thousand yard stare.
Show threadLucienFeb 4
@babe usually I just say "I make sure I make cars look nice and sexy" because no one wants to hear about CAD, aerodynamics, Venturi effect and the such 😅
Show threadAndy PiperFeb 4
@babe I thought you were a lawyer… 🤨
Show threadJohn MaxwellFeb 9
@babe Tell me about your filters...
Show threadJohn MaxwellFeb 9
@babe (Never let it be said that I passed up a chance to deliver a good straight line.)